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Spindle 42:25:15

4/2/2021

Well I hit the Y today after yet another day of burning crap down at work.

I am not a fire man or an arson so I truly should not be burning stuff down. In other news, anyone looking for a project manager? She's a little off kilter but incredibly passionate about her work, and loyal.. 20 years loyal. She's a really good restaurant worker too, except of course if you ask that one couple who said she was the worst server in the world. She's tired right now but never calls off, even if sometimes she should. I can give her a good reference.

I just need to retire, write, go back to school, but that is just not possible right now. Anyhoo.. yesterday was a bust in so many ways, but the biggest was I didn't work out because I was actually physically sick, that much stress. So I vowed today that I was going to the gym regardless of how my morning went, and then it went really really SOUTH, and I kept my vow and I went to the gym for 2 and a half hours. I ran on the treadmill for my kind of "speed work" I did yesterday's work out that some sadistic bitch created.. it's me I am sadistic bitch.. then I did zumba and I ended it with Week 2 Day 4 of Peloton core. There were two nice ladies in the room with me when I was doing a portion of this and I got to see Jill Hammond (huh we aren't facebook friends must fix this) the ladies were really nice and as they left I advised if they came the next time and saw crime scene tape on the door then I had perished during my work out. I think they said a prayer for me. I got it done, that is what matters. It was hard as hell but I got it done.

Eating today has been.. meh at best, I am just not hungry. I am sure it is stress from all the blazes, so I just ate what I could but all on plan, honestly I wanted to dive head first into anything Bad Bean .. next week should be interesting.

But all is ok.. I am fine, everything is just fine.

38:21:10

3/29/2021

HELP I HAVE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!!

Dear Lord Ya'll! I am not even going to lie. I did NOT KNOW I had this in me. Like at all.. ever. I am doing this on my own, I am pushing myself to do things I absolutely HATE!! (read burpees, inch worms and any kind of ab crushing bullshit) Ok ok it is a love hate relationship in that I love to hate them. No seriously I know they are a necessary evil but they really still are evil.

I designed that craziness myself by picking and pulling from work outs I have done, or have been shared with me by the end it had a name the Quad Buster because I was a smart ass and decided to do TWO One minute wall sits, the first one at the beginning and the second one after it was over. Let me just say by the 4 round of curtsy squats I was certain I was going overboard. But I did each and every of of those things. I split the totals up by 5 with the exception of the push ups which I just did at the start, I am grateful I did it that way because I feel like that left me more conscious of my movements and form.

I finished up the sets with the Peloton Week 2 Day 1 which was the dreaded first 10 minutes from Week one that will leave you in tears and making your neighbors wonder why you are writhing in pain on the dock.. it is 10 minutes, but man it leaves a lasting affect.

My run today was good, I was at first going for the don't stop but I ended up cramping a bit so I stopped myself and the watch and stretched, as you can see a couple of times but I got it done. That mile is close.. so so close. My new kicks came today and I swear to you they are NOT PINK AND GOLD no matter how that weird pic looks they are most definitely purple, which I was most excited to find.

So where is my positive today? 1. I have pretty little flowers by my battle ropes so as my should blades are on fire I can at least see the pretty little things as I torture myself. 2. While the scale isn't moving as I would like my pace is as well as my performance overall. 3. I still have the most amazing people in my life in the world. 4. I didn't fall overboard. 5. I have this drive.. that is JUST DIFFERENT!

35:18:10

3/26/2021

Y’all. It was supposed to be rest day but it was just too damn beautiful. My garmin splits are backwards. I stopped at .25 visited with a friend too some inventory mainly of my knee and then continued on to the second .25. Inventory again ans decided screw it I will add in that additional .10 today. Ain’t mad with it.
Then I hit the dock and did the rest of my workout. I mean if you have to torture yourself may as well do it where you can just roll over into the water and cool off if need be! That sucker was painful. It don’t look like much but holy shiznit.
That loan weight out there on the dock speaks volumes. I didn’t have it in me to bring it back to the house
My eyebrows are already disappearing Michelle Miller Denkinger
Happy beautiful Friday.
Positive those splits y’all. Also I know I have and that Falak because no one way in hell does fat get this sore.

34:17:10

3/25/2021

First off today was supposed to be rest day. Tomorrow it definitely will be. My knee isn’t liking me right now, nothing major just annoyed.
As for that stupid half mile today. I have absolutely no idea what the Devil my watch was doing but one minute I am cruising along next minute it is telling me I am going at a 25 minute pace. I can crawl faster. That being said I still got my half mile in plus a little more because KD and I did .15 and she had to stop so I restarted my watch completely. I really don’t think we went that slow but maybe we did. Who knows.
Is what it is right???
Positive of the day. My knee may ache but she’s getting me places

33:16:10

3/24/2021

Today has been just meh. Missing my friend extra today. We all are missing her extra. This part of our journey just doesn’t seem right sometimes. But I can tell you this, I can hear her cheering me on, telling me how strong I am. How it’s going to be ok in the grand scheme of all of the planes with all of the snakes. It will be ok. I am so grateful I had her in my life and the gifts she left me when she moved on to her next journey. I will always be grateful.
I should be working right now. Huge huge thing due tomorrow it has to get done tonight, I will go back. But right now, I needed to step away. I went to the Y for my run since it is so nasty outside and it was a struggle to make it that half of a mile. Then I moved on to the loneliest Zumba class ever, but still managed to knock out 540 calories ( watch is Zumba only). Then entered the 23rd circle of hell and did the Peloton Core Day 3 10 minutes. If you think 5 was long 10 was fooorrrreeeeeveeeer!
Point is I got up. I did me. I did me for her. I shook my ass like a crazy person and know that wherever, whatever, she saw that shit and is laughing.
Positive of the day is I have the ability to make these amazing connections with people that even in death remain.

Today’s post brought to you by Sweet Caroline

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing
But then I know it's growing strong
Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who'd have believed you'd come along
Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you....

32:15:10

3/23/2021

That’s better!!! I made it the first .25 without walking. Which makes me glad I did the .50 yesterday. I am much happier with today’s little jog for a couple of reason. 1 it felt better. 2 I didn’t have a coughing fit after 3 the pace was much better.
I this is not even close to all I did today I put in about 45 more minutes or strength work and someone tried to kill me with 2 Peloton core workouts. 5 minutes never ever felt so long.
The puppies and I went on a little adventure to get a bunch of flowers. What we ended up with the as a few bent up flowers, more than on scratch, a dog laying flat out on her side UNDER a patch of briars and one little dog being carried through it all. It did not go as planned. Path my ass.
My positive of the day is this. I have the most amazing people, they have stepped up in all kinds of ways to help me, to support me, and just to cheer me on. It’s been incredible. But what I also realized is that it’s me that keeps showing up. I am the one that has shown up for all of these workouts over the last month, it is me that is pushing me for one more push-up, to not stop until I get to x, it is me showing up in the kitchen and ensuring I eat the right things and RECORD THEM. That was a pretty awesome feeling!!!! So my people. CHEERS TO US!!!!

Today post brought to you by Eminem
I’m not Afraid
I just can't keep living this way
So starting today
I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'mma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'mma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now.

30:13:6

3/21/2021

Day THIRTY
Ya’ll!!!! So what is the big deal about 30 anyway Re?
Let me just tell you!!! Because I am friggin excited.
Side Note: I say Ya’ll, Well, and So a lot! Weird
I have not had one sip of alcohol. I have not smoked one cigarette. I have not attempted and or contemplated murdering anyone (specifically myself) in a MONTH! Which sounds amazing right? But get this.... I just spent 3 days at home in my favorite place with my favorite peoples and my favorite eateries and I DID NOT CHEAT ON MYSELF!!!!
I know you may be thinking “But Re? Did you REALLY put yourself out there?” Yes, Yes I did.
First off if you know me and Drake, you know we don’t skimp on our alcohol and have a kick ass bar if you combine our stock. So there was no lack of booze around.
Second I went to both of my favorite coffee spots, multiple times and never ordered anything other than Med Dark Black. No matter the fact that I was staring a West 3rd or a Sandspur face to face. I honestly didn’t have a desire to order it.
Kathy George Lassiter
even came over for coffee one morning and when she asked me what I would like - it was easy peasy Med Dark Black
Third I went to the most wonderful restaurant on the beach, The Saltbox Cafe, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. Each time my best friend
Amanda
and Randolph stepped up to the plate and knocked the friggin ball right out of the park with the absolutely most amazing Keto Friendly meals. Neither time was a drawn to ask for a draft, water and coffee it was with just a touch of cream in that first cup. I love you guys so much!!!
Fourth I did “Ladies who Lunch” TWICE Friday I hung out with my knitting friends for a few hours.
Phyllis
had made the most AMAZING smelling chicken soup, I thought for sure I would cave .. (was that my recipe because man it looked great) but nope she had options for me to make my own salad with some chicken salad it was perfect! Saturday I went to Bernie’s and passing up the draft, the vodka soda and the Bloody Mary was not anywhere near as hard as I thought it would be.
Margaret
and I both ordered salads and I ensured mine was Keto friendly and our waitress was so sweet about it, even if I was embarrassed and slightly ashamed of asking for modifications. As a server myself it hurts my heart to modify because I know it is a pain. I am sorry sweet server.
So you see I was alllllll out there! Want to know what I did to help myself while I was gone and how I did the things I needed to do for me?
First I had a loose workout plan before I ever left home and I actually stuck to it. Thursday it was so beautiful
Edward Wesley
and I took the pups on a long walk. Friday and Saturday I did Zumba with both Renee and
April Dinkle
! I always forget how much fun dancing it out with your friends can be, I can look ridiculous and not one single person cares we are all out there just hip shaking and not having a care in the world. It’s wonderful.
Second I had plans with friends, but even when those plans shifted and changed through the weekend it wasn’t a stressful situation. We just rolled with it and it was ALLLL ok!
Margaret Brushwood
even cancelled her flight to Ocracoke for brunch so she could do my hairs.
Third I didn’t work every single down second I had down time. Ed and I spent time together just being. We didn’t have to be doing every single second. It was just relaxing! We didn’t stay up outrageously late and other than us both having crazy dreams all weekend we got good sleeps.
Fourth I had time to do things with and for
Drake
. That always makes my heart so happy. When I can do things for him because I want to!
The fifth and final thing I did for me. I did not set foot in Bad Bean. I am going home with 2 pints of salsa that Ed went to get for me. 30 days is absolutely not long enough to get through that trigger. Between the chips and the Bloody Mary they have I would be a goner! I have decided that I will go to Bad Bean for my birthday... in July! Side Note: Ed brought the chips home!!! I did not eat and or even sniff one of them... that was a big win! I also didn’t nibble his wonderful smelling blueberry pancakes this morning! I also forced myself not to look at his plate after glancing that first time
All in all this is as the perfect weekend to celebrate 30 days of not actively dying if you ask me.
I love you all my dear friends!
And hey you, my perfect mate, my chariot driver, my handsome man, I love you too, thank you for this weekend and not getting mad when I am a hangry bitch

28:11:6

3/19/2021

Y’all. 28 days is 4 weeks! That’s a huge thing. So excited. Got home last night to the OBX and everything has been wonderful. This morning I spent time with my friends dancing my little heart out! 500 calories gone!
Scrip flip.
I am trying so hard to let go of all the hurt and anger in my life but one person keeps popping up in my heart and mind and it stinks. I can’t let go of how frankly crappy this person has been. I think it is because they haven’t just been crappy to me. I don’t know how to even go about this. For years I was invisible and didn’t exist, now I feel like I do exist but I have a hard time with them existing in my world. I know my heart is big enough to get through this and I know I can’t control others so I need to fix whatever is broken in me that makes me have these feelings. Always work to be done right?
Scrip Flip
PS I am trying my hand at stories and Instagram so if you see foolishness I am sorry. Be patient. I will get it.
Positive : Zumba was AMAZING and I made it through the whole class!!! I was thinking 3 songs max! Thank you Renee Thompson for bringing all the energy and I was so happy to see you Michele Young-Stone!!!!!

25:9:6

3/16/2021

Wooo.. this thing was hard as hell. My friends did it this morning so I thought what the hell. Give it a shot. #dead
Got to see the beautiful
Hope Hubbard-Lowe

Then I made the power go out in Cricket Hill. Sorry
Angie Smith
.
Positive : I still got this

24:8:6

3/15/2021

I skipped 23 by accident but this is really for sure 24. 7 straight days of Keto. It fells great.
Positive note: I am seeing major improvements on the treadmill. Like I am getting there