Friends and family, I owe you all an apology, not for my actions, but my unwillingness to stand up and just directly say the actions of another towards some of you was wrong. (I didn't mind standing up for myself but standing up for you all I did not do and that is just as wrong) I need you all in my life, I need your support, your love, your phone calls, and your text. I am sorry that some of you were directly told not to contact me or that I didn't want your help, never have I or would I say such a thing. Some of you may wonder why I am bringing this up now 7 months after the accident, firstly because I have been dealing with a small issue instead of the accident and now it is time to face this and there is no doubt I will need you all now more than ever. Secondly, after hearing from 5 different unrelated places that something similar was said to them a family member said, my gosh... How many others... I need the others to know this is not the truth and even through my hurt I would never turn my back on you. Thirdly, my friends and family have been hurt by an untruth and I will not stand for that, hurt me all you want, but don't hurt my friends and family!

I just want you all to know I love you, I appreciate you, and I am grateful for each and every one of you.

Tomorrow will be difficult for me and my family, there is no doubt, however, I am thankful that I know due to her beliefs, and mine, that Deanna is in a much more beautiful place celebrating her first Thanksgiving in paradise surrounded by the love of many angles including her brother. I am thankful God gave us his son and he paid the ultimate price so that we could all be reunited in heaven when it is our time. While I miss my sweet angels terribly, the price I pay now without them is worth it knowing that they were a part of my life, their memories live on, and one day we will all be together.

My love pours out to all who are missing someone special this Thanksgiving. May God's Grace and Peace be with you all.

Debbie you have been on my mind. I know your heart is hurting.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Spread the love tomorrow you never next year could be so different! Be Thankful for all you have!!! I am thankful for all my family and friends who have given me so much support. I love you all.

Have you ever wondered why newborn babies smell so good or have that smell you know but can't quite put your finger on? It's because they smell like the angels that held them until the moment they were born. ~ Auntie Re

He couldn't find any flowers so he bought me a plant :)

To all those that wonder why I don't listen the first time.. it is because of all the voices in my head.. they need to be told individually.. good luck!

Message from my awesome Aunt this morning!

You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically. Say "I don't care how hard this is, how disappointed I am, I am NOT going to let this get the better of me". - Joel Osteen.

If I am half the aunt she is... I will be amazing.

How to spend a Monday evening surrounded by love? Show up at KHUMC and sit between Ashten Ree Rary and Amanda L. Wolf as Brant Honeycutt delivers the word! Amen.

Day after day after day my amazing aunt sends me emails of love and support from many different Christian sources.. (I think she is on every Christian email group you can imagine) but day after day after day she sends something that hits home, talks to me, reaches out and rips me out of of my chair.. and reminding me.. it's not about ME. (I need a lot of reminding)

Here is part of today's!
In life, it’s awfully tempting to focus on the sin that comes our way. People lie to us, hurt us, maybe even betray us. When that happens, we ought to take a cue from our Lord by recognizing the greater authority at work. God is in ultimate control, and He assures us that He will use everything, even evil, to fulfill something good in our lives.

All things work together for good to those who love God… Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

In an interesting exercise I went through all of my facebook from the last two months and removed all the negativity. Three things I learned.
1. I really don't like myself sometimes.
2. There was not nearly as much negativity as I thought
3. People read and comment more on negative things than the positive things.
Edit: 3a... it has been pointed out that people are supporting me during the bad times.. they are RIGHT! they do.. and that is wonderful. Now lets cheer for positive.. and kick negatives butt! you all!

So I guess they see me as a negative person because that's all they are reading.. I don't know.. just found it interesting.. but there is no more negative on my facebook.


Writers Note 2/5/14: Less than a week after writing this post I was kicked yet again... I am realizing through this project that repeatedly each time I said it is time to let go and move on the hurt and pain showed back up and kicked, or smacked or drug me back in. My prayer now is that my heart is changed and I can forget this all.