I am incredibly vocal (if you can call writing about being vocal..open is probably a better word) my depression so most people I know see how incredibly rotten this is even if you don't understand why I can't just cheer up. I think most people suffer alone or with very few people knowing. I know that people I meet in the store or walking on the beach have no idea I am depressed or how incredibly close to death I have been. I doubt most of you reading this have any real idea how close I have been.
That's the thing about depression. ..I can be "ok" one minute and feel like I am not worthy of living the next. That just being gone is the answer... don't try to tell me to live for my family or my boys because in those moments they are better off without me. Some how some way I have made it through each time. I would get a text, or a Facebook message, or an email that gave me the time to pause and let the voices become silent.
My point is be kind to everyone. You never know ... you just never know. You may be in a rotten mood and snap off a nasty remark or a snotty hello to someone who is on the edge... your words may be the last they hear or they could be the words that allow them to hang on just a little while longer.
The most important thing is that suicide is no one's fault. The survivors are left with many what ifs.... don't. Chances are the decision was made in a moment.. not over days or months. The depression may have been there for years... but that moment, that decision. .. I don't think it is something constantly in the mind... at least it is not in mine.
You never know so just be kind and smile. You have no idea how broken the person in front of you could be even though they are smiling through the tears in their eyes.