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June 3, 2013

6/3/2013

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De,

It's one of those days that .. just hurts all over. I can't stop thinking about your laugh, your smile, the silly things you would do just to make me laugh at you. The dinners you would surprise me with. How do I spend the rest of my life with only memories?

The tears they won't stop today... the just keep coming, much like the rain. Are you crying too De? Are you sad that I feel so lost?

Your brother just woke up and fussed because I didn't get him to bootcamp this morning. Still in running for the mom of the year award see?? I just couldn't get there, at 3:30 when I was still tossing and turning, I figured the best I would be to my team was a log they could drag. It's not fair to them. Sadly it is also not fair to Drake that I didn't manage to get him there and now he is upset.

I just miss you so bad today. My calendar is still on May, because I can stand to turn the page and see Graduation, De's First day of work, as well as other events we would be doing together. I know I have to face these things, it just won't be today.

I love you my sweet girl so so much... and I pray every day that you knew that.
Love
Mommy
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