Headed to VA today to see your play. Anita Cecil, Ganee, Stephanie H. Rowe, Mariah Jowers, and Grandaddy are all going. I know this will make you happy and you will shine your rays of love down on us all as we share this experience together.
I went back to the Dr today and well.. we don't need to go into detail about that, you already know the outcome but for you, for Phyllis Marsh and for the sanity of all of those around me I will listen. for TWO weeks. They have two weeks to prove to me this is the right course. You know how I feel about these things...
I have to spend some time this weekend picking out photos for the year book.. this breaks my heart. Please help guide me to chose the ones that you would want.
My heart still breaks that you will never answer these letters but it is one of the things that keeps me sane, an outlet for my words of love to you. It is getting closer to graduation and the day that Mariah would be bringing your happy little self down to the beach. I haven't had that heart to speak to the lady at Food Lion yet. Your aunt did that for me, they were heart broken. I hope you see how many people loved and cherished your life.
I am grateful that YOU lived every day, every minute to the fullest. You never let anyone or anything hold you back from YOUR dreams or wants and desires. Even when I wasn't thrilled about them I am so grateful now that many times I gave into your "But Mommy!!!"
I also remember the day that you saw my fierce love for you first hand. Do you remember that De? The day (we shall call him that boy) that boy followed you around the beach? The day that when I got there he was laying on YOUR beach towel, the day I told him that I felt it was best that he carry his self back where he came from. He told lies that day De... three.. three different stories. But your Mommy took care of it, I would say it is safe to bet that he never spoke to you again. This Mommy Lioness was protecting her baby Simba.. I wasn't a crazy parrot that day was I Sis! Crazy maybe but I had no fear. I was going to take him down to protect you.
I know you questioned some of the things I did, some of the things I didn't want you doing. But it was for protection De. My parents did the same thing. Granddaddy had to chase a boy away from me too. More than once but I know now as I am sure you do that it was out of protection.
If only I could have protected you one more time. Been there to just say Sis, where is your seat belt, or even thrown the mom belt across you, as so many parents do, the outcome could have been different. I would have thrown myself in front of you if it had meant that you would live. That is what a mothers love it about. Pure sacrifice of themselves and their feelings and physical being to protect their babies.
I know you are rejoicing with Jesus, your brother, great grandparents and friends (new and old) but I can't help but wish you were here with me. I long for the day that I can be with you again. To hold your hand and to sing our very off key Lion King song.. I wonder if Jesus will be offended at your desire to be King.
Look over all of us this holiday weekend my sweet angel.
Hug your brother and tell him I miss you too!
My love flies to you both on wings of angels.
i love you