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Sadly looking back I did not own it. 

9/9/2013

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Today is our give day at Bootcamp... We turn in our cards.. we hang them on our mirrors, our computers, in our cars. We write our goals under our give to help visualize where we want to be and to help us from "giving in to the give" My give was Pizza Rolls. It needed to be done. I have a bag in my freezer (or maybe there are 3 in there) either way I haven't touched them.

Oddly.. my give of my pizza rolls and my goal are wildly disconnected. Most of the time the goals at bootcamp, are lose 10..20..30 lbs (in my case it is usually part of mine), Run a 5k, Run a Half, Run a little faster, lift more weight.. None of these things interest nor appeal to me... at the moment. I have done those things, I KNOW I can do THOSE things again.

My goal is bigger than that, heavier than that (not to diminish anyone else's goals.. all goals are difficult) my goal this camp, is to start living again, by picking up one tiny piece of this broken heart and life, by making a commitment to be there every Monday and Wednesday night and do the best that I can, even if my best today isn't what it used to be.

So maybe I won't lose one pound this camp, maybe I won't get one bit faster, or be able to do more that my original number of situps and pushups... but right now making the promise to be there is larger, bigger, more challenging and much more frightening than all of those things. And maybe just maybe by the Grace of God and some really great people on October 16th I can say, I picked up that puzzle piece an I owned it.
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