It starts the first morning you wake up and realize your child is not there and that this is not a dream it is the beginning of your worst nightmare with no one to help or comfort you because they have all gone back to their lives, and rightfully so. Even though they love you, you are the last person they want to talk to because they are at a loss for words and there are no words that can change the fact your child is dead.
So where do you go from here? How are you ever going to find a place where you fit in again? This is where the acting comes in. You start to pretend and fake your way for a very long time because if you don’t and you break down all the time you will make people feel uncomfortable and not want to be around you, so now what do you do? If you are like me I found other like myself and talked about our dead children and what kind of headstone we brought them and how they looked in a casket and how we dressed them or if we had them cremated. These would be the topics of the day, not to many people want to talk about dead kids.
So can you see how we are lucky to be alive after our children have died? So if I act a little crazy at times please forgive me because I am just a mom trying to make it until I am with my child again but until then I want to try to make a difference and help others like myself survive the un-survivable the death of my child. I hope you will understand it takes all my strength to do that.