I know I am pretty hard on myself but I am openly and honestly. As much as I love the uniqueness that is me and want to share that with the world I also truly hate part of me. The sick part. The part that is dead and dying. Is that part of who I am right now? Yes unfortunately but loving that part of me would be like loving a cancerous tumor, accepting that part of me would also be like accepting that the tumor is OK to just be there and kill me without trying to fight. So yes I do hate part of me. The part I need to fight to survive because if I embrace that part of me... The depression, the anxiety, the insomnia, the hurt, the weight gain, the inactivity. ...All slowly eating away at strong, silly, unique, loving, out going me.
Bottom line.... I don't want to die... I just have to figure out how to save me.
Bottom line.... I don't want to die... I just have to figure out how to save me.
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