Today is a good stuff day.
Four and a half years ago Deanna started doing bootcamp with me. She got up every morning of camp and went (well except that one time she didn't come home at all and a beautiful red head and I ended up hunting her down) she completed her training through out the summer, she made new friends and found a piece of herself out there on those early mornings through sweat, tears, and a tad of blood. I was so incredibly proud of her the day she graduated, high up on that monument over looking our home, while our neighbors were still sleeping. I still grieve over the lost moments, I never saw her walk across the stage for her diploma, she never had the chance to marry, or have her own babies, all moments that a mother is proud of her child, but that moment, standing there with our friends and coaches, I have that moment to cherish for the rest of my life.
Fast forward to today, I stood again on top of that monument, the sun wasn't shining, it still had not risen, it wasn't warm, in fact we ended up soaking wet. It wasn't his first bootcamp, he did that years ago, but it just did not click. It wasn't even his third, that was 6 weeks ago, but today at the end of his 4th bootcamp, I stood in the exact spot I stood with his sister, absolutely full of pride and cherishing a moment that I knew would be held on to forever. My son stood there, with not only people he has made his friends but those that he now considers family, as I have done for years now, after finishing 100 miles in 6 weeks.
One of the questions that continues to pop up in the Outer Banks Triple Threat Bootcamp is "What's your Why?" I have written on the topic before and my why has been the same, "To live like I am living, instead of living like I am dying". It is a daily struggle for me, I will admit that freely and have often. Today however, the why was not about me, it was about him and being there for him to see his achievement, through my own pain I made it to the top of the monument and was there as he stepped the last step of that 100 miles and it was then in that second I realized, that my why wasn't so he could be part of my moment of pride for him but it was so I could be part of his. That struggling every day to live isn't about me, it's about giving my boys, my friends, my family those very moments that I continue to grieve for.
So .. What's my Why? The Moments.
I am so completely and utterly proud of you! I love you son. Keep on reaching for new goals and enjoy the moments of success!