I got to my run start point did a few twists and stretches, and off I went. Instantly I was like.. "This doesn't feel like Monday at all!" And BOOM ALL IN MY HEAD. You see this was to be the run that I ran the whole mile. I couldn't wait for the end of the day, was excited for it and here my legs were failing me. It was literally my legs, my calves were cramping, my shins were screaming (i have no idea why that has not happened in WEEKS) my knees were aching, and my head was going you "dumb fat broad.. you will never be able to run" I QUICKLY went from excitement to disappointment and a A LOT of self criticism, it got no better at all when I realized that I was not even going to be able to run a half of the mile! I .. *gasp* walked 6 times in that first half a mile and then stopped and tried to stretch thinking that would help. No go.. I walked 6 times in my second half of the mile too!
By the time I hit the 1 mile mark, so many things had happened in my head. I never wanted to run again (not true). I am so fat that I shouldn't be running (not true). I am never going to get any better (most definitely NOT TRUE) You are not ever going to run a mile again much less a 5k or a half (MOST ASSUREDLY NOT TRUE). You are just lazy (my limp back home proved that was a lie) the list went ON AND ON AND ON!
Want to know why I am sharing all of this with you when it is highly unlikely you give two craps about how my 14 minutes and some seconds went yesterday? To show you something. There are 1,440 minutes in a day. That 14 minutes of a horrible run is exactly 1% of the day. Do you see that... let me repeat ONE PERCENT! That would be like having a dollar in pennys and all but one of them is pretty and shiny and because ONE is tarnished and ugly you throw the whole dollar away, instead of trying to shine up that penny. We do that, I do that, A LOT. I let that one penny spread it's tarnish to every single penny in my day. Something crappy happens.. BAD DAY. When no.... that is not what should happen, we should .. I should.. allow the other moments in the day to help shine up that bad time. I did that yesterday, even though I whined on facebook about my ridiculously awful 14 minutes. I quickly realized how stupid it was, I went right along about my day and painted up the deck (she is looking good by the way) As I was painting I realized how sore my legs were, oh I don't know maybe all those squat holds while trying to paint the day before had them a bit tired, and before long I was already talking to myself about the things I need to do to shine up those 14 minutes next time. Wear my running capris, ensure that my legs are UP for a run and not just a walk, maybe go to the y and run when it is over 80, and before long it wasn't a bad run it is was a learning experience in the journey.
I am still excited for my running journey. I still plan on that 5 k by July and a half in October. I still have some cleaning of things I don't need, self doubt, criticism, disappointment in the journey etc etc, but I am excited to say that even though some of them came out of the boxes yesterday and tried to spread in my mind like tribbles I quickly gathered them all up and stuffed them back in their boxes and went right along with my shiny 99 cents!
Signing off today with this, do you let a penny outshine your 99 cents? Think of a time that you did this, today if a tarnish pops up allow yourself the minute to examine it.. then shine it up and throw it right in with the rest.
Peace Love and Light