It's a beautiful new blank slate of a week. I am coming to terms with not looking backwards, I said COMING TO TERMS, not quite there yet but I am realizing that looking ahead is the way to success in all things. Weight loss, grief, work, projects, relationships, not one of these will progress, get any better, grow, or learn by looking at something you did in the then from where you are now. This is a three week old subject I have been muddling through.
When we do things we do it with the exact information we have at that moment. I am going to use buying a car as an example. Let's say that 5 years ago you needed a car to get to work but your job didn't pay a lot so you went out and found a ElCheapo that could get you to and from your job that was 5 miles from home that you could afford. Four years later, you land a much better job that pays much more money that is 60 miles from home. Your ElCheapo is struggling to keep up and breaking down more often than you would like and you start beating yourself up for purchasing the ElCheapo! "What was I thinking? Why did I waste so much money on this piece of crap? Now I have to go buy ANOTHER car and I was just getting on my feet!!! How stupid can I be?" Wait.. what?? Sure you are in a spot right now and you will need to take action to make the situation better but 5 years ago you didn't HAVE the information to know that ElCheapo was not going to work for you four years later! Not to mention you didn't have what you needed for any other option. ElCheapo served and did it's job well in the time that it was needed, yet here you are bashing poor ElCheapo instead of thanking it for being the stepping stone you needed for better things!
Isn't this true with anything in life. We can only process and serve with the information and means we have at the moment, looking back on any time in question can only bring us heartache, the us we are at this moment, is not who we were then. Things change, people change, situations change and when we start looking at our ElCheapo from the mindset and means we are at today that is when we start questioning ourselves and beating ourselves up over "Bad Decisions". I am not saying I have not made Bad Decisions .. sure I have, haven't we all? But did any of us go into that situation thinking.. "OHHHH LOOK THIS IS A HORRENDOUS IDEA! LETS DO IT!" Doubtful. Yet here we are looking back over our shoulder berating ourselves.
I am not saying we should just forget our pasts, to do so would be a disservice to yourself and all who know you. How do we learn if we just choose to forget? It's simple math really. Let's say we learn the number 2. Then we learn that 2 + 2 = 4 (ok forget all of that) someone hands us 2. Do we have 6 or are we right back at 2? Because we forgot what we had learned we started right over having to learn 2. It's the same in life, we need to take what we learn and grow from it, what we don't need to do is continuously look behind us studying 2, we learned that already, YOU ARE NO LONGER THAT YOU!
Just a few examples I continuously look behind me on.
I was a crap mom - unlikely, I may not have been June Cleaver but I loved my children and I did what I thought was best for them, even if that wasn't me sometimes.
I am never going to get over this grief - Likely but it doesn't have to continuously look the same either.
I am always going to be fat - Sure you will if you keep looking at what you were and not where and who you are now.
I make the stupidest choices - really? or were you just using the information available at the time to make that choice.
I am a horrible friend (because that one time in 3rd grade I laughed when someone tripped) - YOU WERE 8.. everyone does that!
I have looked backwards so long that it is hard for me to see myself as I am today. It is even hard to accept compliments on the me I am today. Lady Kismet has a look she throws (she compliments me just to see my reaction I think) when I do not thank her or agree with her compliment. If she gets a "Thanks but.." or "I don't feel that.." or "No that's not me" I get the look! It is in those moments that I realize I am not looking at the current me, I am looking over my shoulder.
So what does this have to do with Monday anyway? It's simple really. Last week there was caution thrown to the wind, I did not stick to my routine etc etc etc but today I have the ability to wipe that slate clean, reorganize my plan and start over, WITHOUT just sitting here berating myself for eating the nachos! There is no point in looking back at that, it does not serve a purpose today, it has nothing to do with who I am or what I will be.
Signing off with this, do you allow yourself a clean slate when needed or do you spend your time focused on the dust of the past?
Peace Love and Light