I realize that I was a little misleading in my post yesterday about the waiting 24 to 48 hours. It was specifically asked that I wait that long when writing about myself and work I was doing internally. For example if I wanted to pick apart that I am a chronic yes sayer that I should sit with it, my words, my thoughts, and only take notes on the topic, etc before sending it out to the universe, something about performance art and being truthful with our outward self.. I need to research it more because frankly I do not filter for audience but I get it, sorta.. not really. This is my journal and other than typo edited I don't go back and take out or add to. Sure I could absolutely lock this sucker down and not one of you would see it, but again I know that there is some meaning to this madness that is my brain. Why provide me this gift if I was not supposed to use it?
Ahh crap I just answered myself on another dilemma I have been dealing with. "Why provide me with this gift if I was not supposed to use it?" I have been wrestling myself over a gift I was given and if it was right to share it with the intended receiver, but there it is.. I answered myself. I honestly don't think our gifts are made to be kept under lock and key. I don't think my ability to be open, raw, and honest is either. I am more concerned that if I write a post 48 hours ahead of time I would go back and edit for audience if I sat on a post or a topic for too long and then .. what am I.. fake. Millie Vanilli lip sync anyone?
Either way... I am going to give it a shot. If I hate it, if I see it is not working for me then I can always go back to creating salads versus the spaghetti sauce that has to simmer for days. I have so many pretty notebooks I am just going to grab one and pick one of the things from yesterday's bullets and mull it over in my head and jot down notes and clips and see what it does to my writing.
So on that note.. today we are going to talk about the Octopus because I have been simmering on that since Tuesday! I was having coffee with Lady Kismet Tuesday morning after our workout and she says to me.. "You know .. you're an octopus?" Now I have been called a LOT of things in my life but never an octopus so I was a bit taken back. I was all "Say what now?" She goes on to explain that the octopus has these long arms (I think they are really tentacles) and they are full of these little suckers and I have all of my arms stretched out in different directions and all of my suckers have latched right on and I am afraid to let go so I am stuck. DAMMMMMNNNN. She was right.
Even if we just take work as an example. I already have so much on my plate that I am literally overrun, if someone tosses something new my way I don't have the ability (yet) to say "I'm sorry that will not fit into my schedule" so I find or grow a new sucker and stick that on too! It happened last night, I got a late evening message "Did I do so and so?" for the life of me I could not remember so I had to go back and check, turns out an email was sent a week ago, with no words just a report. So no I did not do anything with it, but damn if that thing isn't stuck right on one of my suckers this morning. I can't stop thinking about it and if I should go do it, or apologize for not doing it, if I should say something about the lack of communication in regards to it, it is STUCK RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SATURDAY MORNING! When what should have happened is I should have used the octopus defense mechanism and squirted some black ink at that shit and let it just stay out there until Monday.
I am still working through how to be less octopussy (giggle) but here I am on this beautiful Saturday going out to power wash a boat and a deck (which I have never in my life done) because I didn't have anything else in the world that should have been done today so I reached right out and wrapped my tentacle around that too!
Signing off today with this, why in the world could I have not been described as something just a little less sucky?? LOL What animal do you think of when you think of yourself and your situation?
Peace Love and Light