Oh my dear heavens ya'll... I have been laying in the bed for a solid hour trying to get the energy to get up. This time change is still kicking my rear end. Yesterday I did so well, was up in time and did my thing today.. not so much! I just did a quick google search, it can take a week or more to adjust!!! Why do we do this to ourselves again? I feel so rotten right now I am totally ready to protest! From my house.. behind my keyboard.. in my pajamas.
I am bouncing my week around a tiny bit, I was taking off tomorrow because I was going to be on the road roughly 6 hours but plans changed up and I should be free tomorrow afternoon so I am going to my Y to do my work out. The way I feel right now it is a good thing because I doubt seriously I could hold a weight at the moment! Then Friday Saturday are Zumba classes. Ohhhh I see there is a Zumba on Thursday too... Maybe the boys can go get dinner and I can go work out! I don't know that may be too much hip shaking. Will see how it all pans out.
Some things I need to work on this weekend are .. what do I need to bring to VA to keep me motivated. I do this every trip I am home, I walk around the house and literally touch things to see if they need to be with me. It is the weirdest activity but it is one I do, sometimes it is really random objects, or it could be a book, or if could be a ball of yarn that just looks pretty. This trip, I need to grab an extra pair of running shoes, even if I do HATE them, they are practically new and I need a swap out pair, I need to find my other running pants, an extra fish tank for the Dragon.. he doesn't seem to be adapting well to roommates, the rest will be whatever randomness falls in my hands. OH THAT BOOK.. I NEED THAT ONE BOOK!
Don't you guys just love these conversations we have? It does me so much good to "talk" it out with you all, instead of those bitches who live in my head. They would have been all.. "Why you bothering fat ass... " And you guys are so so supportive and loving and even try to understand my madness, its so much nicer with ya'll.
I have been thinking of something, I have been writing this way for so many years, on blogs, on facebook.. but they are all sooooo scattered. I really want to take the time to put them all together. The good the bad the ugly.. all of it. I may not have some beautiful leather bound journals that are mysteriously found upon my death.. but I do have this, all of these words, all of these struggles and triumphs that is so littered with bits and pieces of my childhood, that I think it is worth doing. It would like take weeks but it would be nearly 15 years worth of journals! Maybe one day someone will take the madness and say "Hey.. this chick was NUTS.. let's publish this... " I could be the next Virginia Woolfe! Although at this moment i am really hoping my ending is not by drowning myself. I also hope right this minute when I do go out I have on those purple rhinestone boots.
Good lord I am sleepy.... I don't even really know what this post is about at the moment.. some how we have gone from daylight savings time sucking.. to zumba.. to fish tanks.. to checking out of the journey early.. jeeze I need coffee! Well more coffee.
I know you are all thinking right now.. what the actual hell is she doing?? I am showing you.. This is what it is like. Every day.. all day.. my brain bounces around like a very intense game of racket ball, and while you are thinking about that, don't forget I have been hearing songs the whole time... Want to know why I am so sleepy this morning, because randomly like last night.. my brain did this all night in my dreams, except it is even weirder, and the days after a weird night are extra super duper hard to reel back in. I end up frustrated and mad and sad, and 9 times out of 10 I take it out on someone else before the day is over. I am sitting here trying to think of ways of quieting the storm.. I am not succeeding because of the rapid bounce, of all the things that have to be done, of all the things that have to come together, because of all of the stress of leaving dad for 3 days...
I may ask Ed to pick up dinner... because at the moment... just the added pressure of that on top of packing, on top of not forgetting anything... is just too much today. But even asking for something so simple seems... insanely complicated. What if dad doesn't want that, we are already eating out a lot in the next few days.
GET IT TOGETHER!!!
Does anyone know how to get off of this stupid ride.. I think I may puke!
Going to sign off today with.. I really hope that I am the only one, I know I can't be, but I wish I were, and if any of you out there bounce, please tell me how do you quiet it?? Because my go to's are gone from at the moment.
Peace, Love, and Light,