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6/12/2016

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People wonder why I am so desperate to get back to the beach.... Well I will tell you. I am scared out of my mind that I will be stuck in this fat body forever if I don't get home.

I was asked today what that had to do with anything at all as I stood there with tears in my eyes disgusted by how fat I was... I get it people don't understand.

No one understands the bonds I have created there with wonderful people who push me to be a better person ... Physically... Mentally... Spiritually. I get pushed beyond the limits my mind has set each time I am with my people. Here I lolligag right at the line because HELLO when carrying an extra hundred pounds it's hard. It HURTS! I know you are thinking if you can do it there you can do it here... You also haven't been with my group of people because everyone of them will say.... "You wouldn't come out here and so this alone". I am petrified I will never run another half.... Do any more obstacle races... Finish a 5k in under 30 (under 45 would be good right now). I only feel confident that this will happen with the support I know.

I want to be where I can be the beatest me there is and that is where my beatest and most awesomest friends are. Thank you awesomest friends.

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