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Glutton for Punishment

10/12/2020

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I am a complete glutton for punishment. I admit it.
Some time back someone asked me for some help on a very big and personal level. I mentioned that I didn’t think it was that great of an idea. I even know exactly where I was when I said that. I knew I was not really in an emotionally great place to do with they were asking, they knew this, they still asked and when I tried to bow out gracefully, they cried. (Disclaimer if you ever use this against me and cry to get your way.. you will likely be met with my favorite ICP lyric) So anyway.. it went exactly how I thought BAD!!! My stupid heart got all tied up in it and then it got walked all over because they knew I was in neck deep and when I finally said “ENOUGH.. STOP THE MADNESS!” I was the bad guy, I was crazy, I was mentally disturbed, I was a lot of bad things… but not once was I the person who saved someone, not once was I someone who loved so much they allowed what they knew wasn’t a great idea to help another.
Why am I sharing this.. I am getting there.. because after all of that. I still care. I still love them. So if I can love someone who has hurt me that incredibly bad, why in the world would I not love someone who hasn’t. This world we are living in is hard for me. I can’t look at another human with hate or disdain, ok there is a preacher, a dude in Gloucester, and some chick in Warsaw I don’t like too much but I don’t HATE them. So how can you hate someone for the color of their skin, who they are going to vote for, the clothes they wear, the music they listen to, the god they pray to, the blessings they bestow, the job they have… please.. tell me HOW!
And before you stop and think “Oh this is surely not me!” Are you sure? Are you REALLY SURE?
That homeless guy on the corner, did you scoff, did you turn up your nose and think that lazy bum! He sits there day after day, he is physically able to work! Yea.. he is physically able, but did you know his daughter died 3 years ago, did you know his wife suffers from such debilitating depression that he was let go because he was missing so much work to care for her, did you know they lost their insurance, did you know that he is caring for his wife alone, did you know that the money is going to save his home of 25 years, the home that his daughter grew up in, where all of the memories of her life were shared? Did you even know?
That lady you berated and mentioned she should just die on social media over her political stance. Did you know that she is fighting cancer, did you know that her husband left her 8 months ago, did you know that her children don’t know about her illness because she doesn’t want to burden them, did you know she lays alone on the cold bathroom floor, did you know she will likely die alone before election day? Did you even know?
That kid in school, the one that’s clothes smell a little funny, the one that you snatched his pudding off of his lunch plate. Did you know he lives with his alcoholic aunt, did you know that he has 3 little brothers, did you know that his parents died, did you know his school lunch is all he will eat today, did you know he sleeps on the floor so his brothers can share the twin bed? Did you even know?
That weird chick you guys know, the one that no one can figure out, the one that seems so closed off, but yet so caring, the one that is blunt, the one that’s smile doesn’t quite make it to her eyes, did you know she misses her kids every minute of the day, did you know that she has battled her way through depression more times than she can count, did you know that she is caring for a parent, did you know she hasn’t been home for over 4 days in a row in 10 months, did you know she isn’t nearly as strong as people think she is, did you know that she sometimes feels so lost and alone? Did you know that she loves so big that somedays it consumes her? Did you know… that regardless of what you have done.. who you are.. what color your skin is.. who you vote for.. what your job is… she loves you. Did you even know?
I am not asking that any of you change your beliefs, because honestly BE YOU! But please try to be you enough that you can allow me to be me. Accept that we are different, yet can live in harmony. Accept that my prayers are just as powerful as yours, yet we may start them differently. I am not asking you to vote this way or that, but don’t hate someone because they voted differently. I am not asking you to give that homeless guy your pay check, but maybe take a minute to look a little deeper then you may give him 5. I am not asking that you even begin to try to understand me, but a little grace wouldn’t hurt.
What am I even getting at here? That this world needs something, and that is a little more love and if you can in anyway find it in yourself to show someone some love today, even just one person, even if that thing is a text to someone just saying.. Hey, I still think about you, even if it is a friendly nod (I mean we can’t exactly smile these days) and a have a great day to a stranger, even if it is, heaven forbid, a scroll by a post on social media you don’t agree with …. one little tiny act of kindness brings the whole world more love, because it grows.
Peace Love and Light,
Re
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