Side note: If you don't get the reference we need to talk about your choices in Christmas movies...
Let's throw the definition of grace out here for good measure.. oh the pun.. you will see.
- simple elegance or refinement of movement.
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
- courteous goodwill. (even to yourself)
homecation and in a car all day and likely was not supposed
to see a change."
As you guys all know I went on a homecation (sorry for those I confused.. we just went home together for the first time in over a year to us it was a vacation as odd as that sounds, also for those wondering dad made out GREAT!!!) So I get home and put all of the things away and did all of the things I was supposed to, right up until the time I went and grabbed the tape measure. (hence the pun) Why in the world would anyone do this?? I mean it was nothing but torture. It would be akin to going to an all you can eat buffet and then getting on a scale as you leave.
I immediately text an accountability partner as we were talking yesterday about our journeys and testing theories and what not, the text read "Well I have not lost any inches!" The response was.. "since when?" I said "10 days ago." Then I said.. "Ok.. it was an inch but that was at the fattest part".. you know the inter-tube. I have absolutely no idea what I was actually expecting, but I had 0 grace with myself to say.. "Hey you, you just sat in a car for 3 hours, you haven't been getting your water in for a few days because you were on homecation and in situations where excusing yourself every 15 minutes was not ideal and you likely had a little more salt than normal" I have no courteous goodwill toward myself! I can give it away all day long, you come at me and say "Re.. I really screwed up, I done XYZ, but I need your help." I am over here all like.. "Ok I got you." To myself, it would be.. "Your kidding me right? You big fat cow.. are you really coming around here asking for a bit of grace? Fat chance" Ha! Another pun!
I am starting to figure out that not allowing myself grace is robbing myself of the joy of the process. I have never been one to trust the process (ask my knitting friends.. row two in and I am all .. "this can't be right) and here I am now, not trusting the process, even though I have followed it to the letter. I literally sat here last night and read and read and read about what I am doing "wrong", told Ed, that my calorie count was probably to high and I needed to drop to 1200 a day not 1500. I sent a message to our accountability group the other day because I just felt like I could not possibly be in Ketosis because the sticks I have were not reading right and how even though I was counting, measuring and recording every thing, that I knew I must be doing something "wrong". I do not know what it is going to take for me to believe in myself, to believe I am doing all of the right things and to allow myself grace, so that I can enjoy the journey more.
It's not your grace, God's grace, the universe's grace, my parent's grace that I need here... I need MY OWN FRIGGIN GRACE! Do they stock that on Amazon?
Had I allowed myself a few moments of grace last night, I may have continued measuring inside of throwing the tape measure the floor and crying (I didn't really do that.. or did I?) What I would have found was yes, I did lose an inch around the fat part (we need to name that part because the fat part is just eck) but I lost another 5.5 from the other parts. So in total for 10 days I have lost 6.5 inches. I wish like crazy I had measured and weighed 30 days ago, I bet the actual totals are more but we will go with what we got. 6.5 inches ya'll. That is huge. I think I wanted more inches to come off of Falak (see I named it.. did you know you could google horrible names that start with F? This was one of them, it fit) because that is my most disgusting area, but I also remembered a little tid bit that a coach once told me, usually our most gross areas are the last to lose, so again I went to my trusty google and found:
"For many of us the belly fat is very resistant to loss. This does not happen for everyone but it is indeed common enough to be normal. Keep losing and the inches will eventually come off."
Why could I not google that last night, instead of googling each and every way that I absolutely must be doing Keto wrong? List after list after list, I kept reading and googling and searching, why did it take so long? Because I could not find ANYTHING i was doing wrong, so I must be missing it, do another search. I think that is what crazy looks like on an ordinary day.
So here we are ya'll, at day 31, with 2 weeks of Keto under my belt, and it is time to write down some goals for the next 30 days. Do you know what number one is?
- Find a way to be more graceful with yourself!
- Continue reading and learning.
- Get that water in.. 128oz a day! You can do it.
- Continue the work out journey, increase to 4 days a week with strength training.
- Continue to walk with Mom 3 days a week.
- HIT THE PAVEMENT! Get off of the treadmill and get outside! yes your knees are going to hurt, but you can do this, you know it is the way. Start slow, run only a quarter of a mile if you have to, but get out there and run, stop this run 100 paces walk 1000. You know you got more in you than that. And if you have a bad day, ALLOW YOURSELF THE GRACE YOU NEED! You are still carrying quite a bit of weight you aren't used to. It is OK, you will improve, I promise, trust the process, enjoy the journey, you WILL run another half, likely even better than any you have ever done before.
- Keep your promise to yourself, 90 days strictly Keto and then reevaluate, you can't flounder now, because it isn't the diet that isn't working, it is your brain telling you that nothing ever works, so why should this, quiet that nonsense and keep on track! Celebrate your victories as you have been, you have been doing so good at that, keep it up! Do not let what you THINK should be happening, steal the joy of what IS happening!
- Allow yourself the 20th of April. No matter what that day ends up looking like, it will be ok. Try to make yourself a plan to get through it, especially from the 11th on, you know what is the hardest, you already see the obstacle, start figuring out NOW what needs to happen during those days to see you through to the other side.
I am going to sign off today with, do you allow yourself enough grace? What are ways that we can help others find their own grace? If you have ideas hit me up! I need all the help I can get! :)
Peace, Love and Light