I say that as I am looking out the window at Fatty McSquirrelface, the 3 cardinals (1 male, 2 female) who are at the bird feeder happily sharing breakfast, and the crow (likely a black bird but I always wanted a crow who liked me) who is on the dock eying it all suspiciously... OH in flew another male cardinal! The finches are boycotting, they don't like the white sock things much. I am just going to dump the food in my feeders and see if that helps. I would be amiss in not mentioning Dave the squirrel who is literally hanging upside down from a branch nibbling suet, at least Dave seems to not be spinning in circles this morning. I feel like Rachel is standing behind me, peeping out the window. OH WOW!!!! A crow flew up cawed and sat on the branch closest to the window! That MOST definitely was a crow! Blackbirds don't caw!
It is quite the busy morning at the office water cooler, but inside I am working on just allowing myself a soft place and the grace that I need.
Yesterday was very busy, the house is clean, which was a major undertaking and accomplishment. I still have to do my office but there was working happening in here yesterday. Ed installed an electrical socket with my very own first time ever network ports so I could hard wire my work and my personal computers without cords tangling around my feet or long cables running through the house. In doing so I had to clean out a closet which now looks like an organized mess versus just OMG when you open the door. :) I painted the shelves in my space a bright cheery peachy orange. Somewhere in there I made a 2 hour Dollar General and M&M trip for plants and just stuff. Then I made dinner. Things that didn't get done yesterday, my run, the porch, and the deck. The porch and the deck will be worked on today. The run, I made a conscious ....
Pardon the interruption but Ed walked in and pointed out that Junior (newly named) the baby squirrel was outside rolling around all of over the place and then hopping up and down with a stick and a pine cone. It was quite comical. PS Ed doesn't like the squirrels still.
Back to the run.. I made a conscious decision at some point yesterday to just allow the next few days to happen. That doesn't mean I am throwing all caution to the wind, it just means that if I don't work out again until Tuesday I don't work out again until Tuesday. It means if the porch doesn't get done today, it will get done, just not today. I refuse however to falter on my Keto, that is too important to my journey, but I am allowing a little grace with the IF, I woke up hungry. I am not saying working out and running aren't important they are, very much so, I am just allowing myself the soft place and grace I need to get through the right now. I have plenty of time in the next 6 months for hard core training, and frankly over the next 6 months the only traumatic dates is my 50th birthday, so I shouldn't be tripping into any huge holes.
Interruption.. there are now 3 finches on the weird sock thing..
So anyway what I am trying to say is that I am in fact attempting to show myself some grace and find peace in it. I am acknowledging the things I am doing this weekend are things that will vastly improve my outlook on things in the days, weeks, months to come. We are taking on a big project tomorrow at the OBX house.. if anyone is free we would so welcome to help in moving my office back up the stairs.
Signing off today with this.. I feel like even though I am still in this place of darkness I am learning to use different tools to deal with it.
Peace Love and Light!