I am fully aware as you can image what it is like to dread mother's day and for years I just didn't want to even think of it, but what a disservice to myself. I AM a Mother. I HAVE a Mother. I HAVE strong stand in Mother's. I HAVE friends who are Mothers. This isn't just a day of celebrating our own individual maternity but also that of the women who raised us, the women who supported us, and the women we have supported and or raised. It is a day of celebration.
I am also fully aware that there are women who have struggled with fertility, their babies were born sleeping, that lost their children to illness or tragedy no matter their age, those who have strained relationships and those that chose not to have children, can I just say I celebrate you! I celebrate your fight, your love, and your choice! You are seen! You are heard! You are Loved!
I also see the fathers that stand in as both mom and dad, I see you too! It takes a strong man to be a father but an even stronger man to be a mother too! You are seen!
So for me, I have to say.. Happy Mother's Day to us all. May we celebrate all of the aspects of the day!
I am going to shift gears here to a much more personal note. For a very long time I had a hard time buying mother's day cards. They were all mushy and full of these super sweet messages that I just could not wrap my head around buying for my mother. It's not huge secret here that we had many struggles for many years, more years than not. I was going to write the word unfortunately at the end of that but you know what it isn't unfortunate, it is what it is and without it I would not be me. Anyway here I was standing in what ever store trying to find a humorous card or something plan Jane because I felt if I bought the sickeningly sweet card it was a lie and she would know I just picked up some random card. I mean I knew my mother was my mother and yes she deserved the recognition of that, but our relationship was so strained that any little slight or in correct gesture could cause a tidal wave, neither was any more or less to blame than the other, it just was the way it was.
I can't sit here and explain what happened and why, maybe it was the kids journey's to their next adventure, maybe it was age, I don't really know and frankly I don't think it matters, but there was a shift in the life of our relationship. I was more accepting of her, who she was, and she I. I didn't feel that she was trying to fit me in a mold I didn't belong in any longer, our conversations didn't feel forced and tense, I am certain she no longer felt the same things. Things just shifted. For that, I am grateful. You see, as a kid, teenager, young adult.. heck even adult I was full of envy for those daughters that were friends with their moms. I couldn't understand it at all, nor could I relate and some part of me felt jipped and slighted, to make matters worse I lost that with my own daughter. But here we are today, 50 years into my existence and I can say, my mother is my friend, I do not mean she is just my mom and yea she is there I am talking about a true friend that I could call day or night, no matter the need or circumstance, I know she is there.
If that is not a reason to celebrate Mother's Day I don't know what is!
I love you Mom, I can't imagine doing this Earth spinning thing without you.
PS. I could buy any of the cards and they would be true.
Signing off today with this, if today brings you sadness for whatever reason take a moment and just be in the moment reflect if you need, but please honor yourself and all the strong individuals in your life.
Peace Love and Light,