Good Morning Dear Friends, long post alert. I live in two small towns so the word is getting around, I would rather you have my own.
Next time they ask you to reboot and restart try it sometimes it works.
I debated and debated this post, but when it comes down to the truth and my openness of my life and struggles I have always been on point and a leader of the open book club so I feel that this too needs a little light shed on it.
I know that a hand full of you already know what is happening, others know something happened but are unsure what, and some others know nothing at all. Honestly this was by my design. I saw no need in worrying anyone.
So, what is wrong with me? Loaded question right? There are many things but this particular thing is my heart. The best way to describe what is happening is my heart is trying to run a marathon without my feet. You know that heart pounding moment of crossing the finish line and grabbing your medal, you are breathing funny and your heart is just about to bust out of your chest? Yea.. that but sitting still.
So here is what happened. Sunday, I had a wonderful day. I got up made breakfast, beat Ed with a Kayak paddle, (he lies… there was mud… there was near drowning), kayaked after I finally figured out how to do that, tending to plants, packed up, stopped by a dear friends to deliver some infamous pasta salad and was on my way home. I was slowly making my way out of her lane, waved at my dear friends old home place where the peaches grow because I am weird like that, and right beside the new art gallery house BOOM. My chest seized up. My brain thought (inner dialogue) “ Huh… I am having a heart attack, .. oh don’t be stupid no you aren’t, you ate some green peppers at lunch just burp. (that didn’t help by the way) Oh yea.. it’s a panic attack, these things are so stupid just out of no where and for no reason at all, you will be ok just go home.” Driving driving driving “I don’t feel panicked why is this happening, I am starting to feel a bit weirder, touch your carotid see what it is doing… oh wow.. that isn’t good. Oh stop it you are fine! Keep going, take a nap when you get home it is just 3 hours.” So I kept going.
By kept going I mean I made it 11 minutes up the road. By the time I got close to the 7-11 on 14 (the Mathews peeps know) I was all like.. “Hmmmm I may not make it home…. Naw you good. You got this just go ahead” in the half of a mile from the 7-11 to the Hillside light.. I knew I was not going to make it and my brain is so messed up the reason I pulled over final was “What if I wreck the dogs are with me.. they will get hurt” I told you my brain doesn’t work right! I pulled off where Murphy’s Mart used to be and checked my handy dandy iWatch… “Oh wow… 200 BPM that is fun, oh this stupid thing.. it can’t be working right. That has to be way off.” Then I realize that I really feel like crap so I tried to call Ed.. no go.. no service. “You should just move to another location, no no you shouldn’t! Stay where you are! Text!” so I sent a few urgent texts to Ed and Mom and in about 10 minutes I had the calvary on the way. Ed was the first to get there and he says what is wrong.. I said “well… I think something is wrong with my heart, I am either having a massive panic attack or a heart attack not sure which, touch my neck”. His reply.. “I don’t have to, I can see it! Let’s call 911.” Nooooo that isn’t happening we were a mile from the hospital, mom was on her way to get the dogs, no biggie, we will wait. Then queue rounds of I am ok and I am not ok I am ok and I am not ok! Somewhere in there nausea hit and my jaw ached horribly. Dog transfer was made, Ganee to the rescue again! 3 minute ride to the hospital complete.
Ed runs in and tells them what is happening, two people come out with a strange little wheel chair and say.. “ok hop in” I tell them I am really light headed and neither really make a move to help me get out of the truck, that was my first queue that this was nothing serious and I was over reacting. They wheel me in the door and promptly deposit me in the middle of the floor of registration and say someone will be with you in a bit. Ok second queue nothing is wrong. Two other people come get me and I start apologizing, “I’m so sorry this is stupid and a waste of everyone’s time, I am an idiot.” Get in the room and they say ok hop on the table, again.. no urgency or concern so I know I am being dumb. Start the questions, has this happened before, yea.. it is a panic attack happens all the time, just randomly. About hundred other questions but this one is relevant to the story.
Edit: The nurses also asked me what I was doing earlier and I said well I was headed home when this happened, where do you live? Oh the Outer Banks. I get a glance up from Nurse Typer. Really? Yes. That is where I live. Ok. So how did your day go today. Well I made breakfast then I kayaked. Break in nurse You were at the OBX this morning? No. I was in Mathews. Nurse: So where were you kayaking? Me: at our house in Mathews! Nurse Stickers chimes in. So you have a house in Mathews on the water and a house in the Outer Banks? Is that right? I think for a moment and reply with “OH MY GOD I AM ONE OD THOSE PEOPLE!!!!! in unison they said. Yea you kinda are.
As one is typing the other is hooking me up to an EKG machine and putting stickers all over me, we are all just talking away, I am making jokes cause why not, I may as well entertain them I wasted their time. Then Nurse Stickers says “Hold still for one minute” that was the very last second of calm in that room for awhile. Nurse Stickers says something to Nurse Typer and the flurry of activity was CRAZY. People coming in all over, I was poked with a big needle, I think I teared up a bit at that point because no one was really talking to me, at which point they told me not to do that it would make it worse. In comes my other nurse and he has my arm up in the air and they are paging the doctor and yelling about some kind of medicine for someone to run get it. I imagine I looked like a deer in headlights or something because just moments ago this was all a stupid waste of time and no one was alarmed. I was holding it together rather well actually for all of the excitement and no one really saying what was happening or if they were it was not registering around the chaos. Then someone said…. “Get the crash cart!” I have watched enough Grey’s anatomy to know that is not good and at this point I looked Nurse Cutie Pie (sorry ed he was cute) “Am. I. XXXXXX. Dying?” He says “No honey we are going to fix you right up but you are going to feel like you are in a minute” my thought was it cant get any worse than it was then. (I was wrong)
In comes the Dr I wish I had gotten his name because he was very kind, he says a few things and then explains quickly they are giving me a med to slow down my heart and it is not going to feel good. That it will feel like a bottom dropped out of an elevator from a very high floor and you can’t stop falling, but it only lasts a few seconds and then I will quickly feel better. He asks Nurse Cutie Pie if he is ready and then on the count of 3.. 1…2…3… Nurse Cutie Pie says it’s in. I respond with “Oh this isn’t so bad, I thought you said… OMG!!!!! (INSERT LOTS OF BAD WORDS) Nurse Cutie Pie just keeps saying.. it’s ok.. it’s ok.. you got this. After what seemed like forever (it is 6 seconds by the way) I felt fine. Just as fast as the first BOOM the second BOOM happened. My neck didn’t feel like a time bomb, I didn’t think I was going to puke, nothing I was a ok (with the exception of being very tired, which lasted until yesterday evening) I was fine. They did two rounds of tests to make sure everything was back to normal and 4 hours after walking in I was walking out. Ok maybe I didn’t walk in.
So what does this all mean. 1. They weren’t panic attacks. 2. I have something called Supraventricular Tachycardia 3. It is not life threatening but it is worrisome 4. I have rules now (more on that in a bit)
I have this week followed up with the Cardio Dr and had an Echocardiogram done, which by the way was a ok! That is good news, it means that the physical parts of my heart are doing as they should, that the issue is not caused by something physical. So why the problem, short answer I have an electrical short in my heart. Right now I am medicated for it but even with the meds my heart rate while sitting here typing this is in the high 90s. Now for the rules: I have to have my phone with me at all times. I have to monitor my heart rate (handy dandy iWatch that was not malfunctioning is pulling that job) I have to wait until later this week to see if the meds are working to determine if I am headed by to NC this weekend so I can work next week. I can exercise but I have to be very mindful when done that my heart actually goes back down below 120. (I have not even felt like putting on my shoes much less working out yet).
Next steps, I have an appointment with a Eletrocardiophysiskljdfhskdjl;fs on July 14th and we will discuss fixing this problem, at this point all discussions have led to ablation which zaps the part of your heart that is sending out bad signals. I will always have this and it will likely reoccur down the road even after ablation but it will be much later and it is a better option than medication.
Back track, why the crash cart and why does the med make you feel like you are dying? It stops your heart. The medicine literally stops your heart for 6 seconds for it too reset. So .. in this instance rebooting fixed the issue right up!
Hahahahahhaha
PS.. I AM FINE!!! I PROMISE!!!! Ya’ll stop fretting
PSS... thank you Ed and Mom for getting that chaos all contained. Love you both
Next time they ask you to reboot and restart try it sometimes it works.
I debated and debated this post, but when it comes down to the truth and my openness of my life and struggles I have always been on point and a leader of the open book club so I feel that this too needs a little light shed on it.
I know that a hand full of you already know what is happening, others know something happened but are unsure what, and some others know nothing at all. Honestly this was by my design. I saw no need in worrying anyone.
So, what is wrong with me? Loaded question right? There are many things but this particular thing is my heart. The best way to describe what is happening is my heart is trying to run a marathon without my feet. You know that heart pounding moment of crossing the finish line and grabbing your medal, you are breathing funny and your heart is just about to bust out of your chest? Yea.. that but sitting still.
So here is what happened. Sunday, I had a wonderful day. I got up made breakfast, beat Ed with a Kayak paddle, (he lies… there was mud… there was near drowning), kayaked after I finally figured out how to do that, tending to plants, packed up, stopped by a dear friends to deliver some infamous pasta salad and was on my way home. I was slowly making my way out of her lane, waved at my dear friends old home place where the peaches grow because I am weird like that, and right beside the new art gallery house BOOM. My chest seized up. My brain thought (inner dialogue) “ Huh… I am having a heart attack, .. oh don’t be stupid no you aren’t, you ate some green peppers at lunch just burp. (that didn’t help by the way) Oh yea.. it’s a panic attack, these things are so stupid just out of no where and for no reason at all, you will be ok just go home.” Driving driving driving “I don’t feel panicked why is this happening, I am starting to feel a bit weirder, touch your carotid see what it is doing… oh wow.. that isn’t good. Oh stop it you are fine! Keep going, take a nap when you get home it is just 3 hours.” So I kept going.
By kept going I mean I made it 11 minutes up the road. By the time I got close to the 7-11 on 14 (the Mathews peeps know) I was all like.. “Hmmmm I may not make it home…. Naw you good. You got this just go ahead” in the half of a mile from the 7-11 to the Hillside light.. I knew I was not going to make it and my brain is so messed up the reason I pulled over final was “What if I wreck the dogs are with me.. they will get hurt” I told you my brain doesn’t work right! I pulled off where Murphy’s Mart used to be and checked my handy dandy iWatch… “Oh wow… 200 BPM that is fun, oh this stupid thing.. it can’t be working right. That has to be way off.” Then I realize that I really feel like crap so I tried to call Ed.. no go.. no service. “You should just move to another location, no no you shouldn’t! Stay where you are! Text!” so I sent a few urgent texts to Ed and Mom and in about 10 minutes I had the calvary on the way. Ed was the first to get there and he says what is wrong.. I said “well… I think something is wrong with my heart, I am either having a massive panic attack or a heart attack not sure which, touch my neck”. His reply.. “I don’t have to, I can see it! Let’s call 911.” Nooooo that isn’t happening we were a mile from the hospital, mom was on her way to get the dogs, no biggie, we will wait. Then queue rounds of I am ok and I am not ok I am ok and I am not ok! Somewhere in there nausea hit and my jaw ached horribly. Dog transfer was made, Ganee to the rescue again! 3 minute ride to the hospital complete.
Ed runs in and tells them what is happening, two people come out with a strange little wheel chair and say.. “ok hop in” I tell them I am really light headed and neither really make a move to help me get out of the truck, that was my first queue that this was nothing serious and I was over reacting. They wheel me in the door and promptly deposit me in the middle of the floor of registration and say someone will be with you in a bit. Ok second queue nothing is wrong. Two other people come get me and I start apologizing, “I’m so sorry this is stupid and a waste of everyone’s time, I am an idiot.” Get in the room and they say ok hop on the table, again.. no urgency or concern so I know I am being dumb. Start the questions, has this happened before, yea.. it is a panic attack happens all the time, just randomly. About hundred other questions but this one is relevant to the story.
Edit: The nurses also asked me what I was doing earlier and I said well I was headed home when this happened, where do you live? Oh the Outer Banks. I get a glance up from Nurse Typer. Really? Yes. That is where I live. Ok. So how did your day go today. Well I made breakfast then I kayaked. Break in nurse You were at the OBX this morning? No. I was in Mathews. Nurse: So where were you kayaking? Me: at our house in Mathews! Nurse Stickers chimes in. So you have a house in Mathews on the water and a house in the Outer Banks? Is that right? I think for a moment and reply with “OH MY GOD I AM ONE OD THOSE PEOPLE!!!!! in unison they said. Yea you kinda are.
As one is typing the other is hooking me up to an EKG machine and putting stickers all over me, we are all just talking away, I am making jokes cause why not, I may as well entertain them I wasted their time. Then Nurse Stickers says “Hold still for one minute” that was the very last second of calm in that room for awhile. Nurse Stickers says something to Nurse Typer and the flurry of activity was CRAZY. People coming in all over, I was poked with a big needle, I think I teared up a bit at that point because no one was really talking to me, at which point they told me not to do that it would make it worse. In comes my other nurse and he has my arm up in the air and they are paging the doctor and yelling about some kind of medicine for someone to run get it. I imagine I looked like a deer in headlights or something because just moments ago this was all a stupid waste of time and no one was alarmed. I was holding it together rather well actually for all of the excitement and no one really saying what was happening or if they were it was not registering around the chaos. Then someone said…. “Get the crash cart!” I have watched enough Grey’s anatomy to know that is not good and at this point I looked Nurse Cutie Pie (sorry ed he was cute) “Am. I. XXXXXX. Dying?” He says “No honey we are going to fix you right up but you are going to feel like you are in a minute” my thought was it cant get any worse than it was then. (I was wrong)
In comes the Dr I wish I had gotten his name because he was very kind, he says a few things and then explains quickly they are giving me a med to slow down my heart and it is not going to feel good. That it will feel like a bottom dropped out of an elevator from a very high floor and you can’t stop falling, but it only lasts a few seconds and then I will quickly feel better. He asks Nurse Cutie Pie if he is ready and then on the count of 3.. 1…2…3… Nurse Cutie Pie says it’s in. I respond with “Oh this isn’t so bad, I thought you said… OMG!!!!! (INSERT LOTS OF BAD WORDS) Nurse Cutie Pie just keeps saying.. it’s ok.. it’s ok.. you got this. After what seemed like forever (it is 6 seconds by the way) I felt fine. Just as fast as the first BOOM the second BOOM happened. My neck didn’t feel like a time bomb, I didn’t think I was going to puke, nothing I was a ok (with the exception of being very tired, which lasted until yesterday evening) I was fine. They did two rounds of tests to make sure everything was back to normal and 4 hours after walking in I was walking out. Ok maybe I didn’t walk in.
So what does this all mean. 1. They weren’t panic attacks. 2. I have something called Supraventricular Tachycardia 3. It is not life threatening but it is worrisome 4. I have rules now (more on that in a bit)
I have this week followed up with the Cardio Dr and had an Echocardiogram done, which by the way was a ok! That is good news, it means that the physical parts of my heart are doing as they should, that the issue is not caused by something physical. So why the problem, short answer I have an electrical short in my heart. Right now I am medicated for it but even with the meds my heart rate while sitting here typing this is in the high 90s. Now for the rules: I have to have my phone with me at all times. I have to monitor my heart rate (handy dandy iWatch that was not malfunctioning is pulling that job) I have to wait until later this week to see if the meds are working to determine if I am headed by to NC this weekend so I can work next week. I can exercise but I have to be very mindful when done that my heart actually goes back down below 120. (I have not even felt like putting on my shoes much less working out yet).
Next steps, I have an appointment with a Eletrocardiophysiskljdfhskdjl;fs on July 14th and we will discuss fixing this problem, at this point all discussions have led to ablation which zaps the part of your heart that is sending out bad signals. I will always have this and it will likely reoccur down the road even after ablation but it will be much later and it is a better option than medication.
Back track, why the crash cart and why does the med make you feel like you are dying? It stops your heart. The medicine literally stops your heart for 6 seconds for it too reset. So .. in this instance rebooting fixed the issue right up!
Hahahahahhaha
PS.. I AM FINE!!! I PROMISE!!!! Ya’ll stop fretting
PSS... thank you Ed and Mom for getting that chaos all contained. Love you both
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