Well.. no not you .. especially you there reading this in your drawers.. I definitely can not see you! I can see my words! The little doodad came in yesterday this is so much more comfortable!
Speaking of comfort, neither KD or I wanted to get up this morning even after a solid 8 hours. Sitting here 30 minutes after being awake I feel like the bed is still calling me! I think there are a couple of reasons for that. 1. I have a very very very comfy bed. 2. I have in fact moved in some forward motion for 14 or so days straight, yesterday being a bit of a harder one. (I have a rest day it is Sunday so I guess I shouldn't stay straight but you get what I mean.) 3. Do you know how hard it is to get up when your snuggle buddies have no desire to??? 4. My tried and true method of sleeping 3 to 5 hours a night turned on a dime about a year ago and I found myself needing more minutes, to the point I am now, 8 hours seems to be my minimum to function. I don't know what caused the shift, age maybe, obesity maybe, who knows but here we are just plain sleepy this morning after 8 hours. 5. The exhaustion of the last year is just catching up to me, in so many ways, but this could be one of them.
Speaking of exhaustion, I need a vacation. I need 4 to 5 days somewhere.. alone. I know that sounds awfully horrible and nasty and selfish doesn't it? Hell I would settle for 2. Just me.. some books.. some writing.. some working out.. some sleeping.. some resetting. I know you are thinking.. just go home for a couple of days.. When I do I feel so obligated to run around seeing the people I have missed for so long, that when I get back here I am even more exhausted! Sadly I can not think of one place that I want to go that doesn't sound exhausting just to plan out! Ed come get the dogs and just lock me in the house for 2 days! Hmmm.. that quarantine thing isn't sounding so bad at the moment. Jokes people I got jokes! Anyone got a vacation house open for the weekend?? Ahh but what a miracle that would be.
Speaking of miracles, have you seen my dad lately??? Dude! That man is a walking, talking, hunting, laughing, joking, MIRACLE. I can show you this progression in photos that would blow your mind. When Covid hit and they closed down the restaurants is when I started to spend more time in Mathews, so roughly a year ago this week. As the weeks passed by I noticed this downward slide in his health. I started to notice the massive weightloss, the lack of appetite, the general sickness in his eyes, probably around the end of June. On my birthday I realized things were getting worse because I remember being worried about him getting on the boat. By his birthday he was really bad and we started chasing down reasons and causes and diagnosis. He didn't hunt, he was constantly cold, he needed help doing things that he has done every day since he was old enough to have a dog, he was most definitely not my strong dad. Thanksgiving he was not good... by Christmas people would ask how he was and my response was.. and I hate to say this.. "If you want to see him, I think you should go see him now." I said things to him that I was scared I may never get the chance to say again. Fast forward to December 21st.. the bloody nose from hell. I have never seen anyone bleed so much and survive. I knew that day that my dad had days left... maybe weeks IF we were lucky. He was weak, he was tired, and to some degree he had just given up. Nothing was making him any better, we had test after test after test and everything was no .. no.. no.. nope. The one issue he does have is his heart valve, his heart failure doctor said repeatedly that he didn't feel dads symptoms were due to his heart, but it was the ONLY thing that we could find wrong. So we chased and chased and chased getting that repaired until the last phone call of "No, we are sorry.. your dad does not qualify for replacement." I cried that day, a lot. I knew that was the end, because dad had said so many times "When I get this heart fixed....." but we had reached a point that there just was no fix. When I told him that night, his response was not what I expected, he said "well I am surprised it took them this long to tell me no" somewhere in his heart he knew how unlikely it was. I can't tell you what has happened since or why, because we have not changed anything. In the process of all of this dad has stopped taking either 4 or 5 of his blood pressure and heart regulating medicines that he has been on for years. His blood pressure is normal with no medication, His heart rate is normal with no medication, and he has gone from sitting in his recliner for the majority of the day and only having strength to sit at the dinner table to eat, to going out and hunting 4 days last week, 2 days already this week and plans to split wood today. I am thinking of spending more time at home soon, he is that much better.
Speaking of going home, that gives me so much anxiety. Crazy right?? Being here has driven me crazy.. now going home is going to drive me crazy. Simply because of fear. What if I go home and ... those damn what if's. Either way it is on the realm of possibility. I am thinking right now two weeks here.. two weeks there. I know I can not do every other week, traveling every weekend would be the pits! But being home more is on the table, how exciting!
Speaking of exciting! You have reached the end of today's post. Take some time today and just think about what miracles have happened around you and be grateful for them.
Peace Love and Light,
Re
Speaking of comfort, neither KD or I wanted to get up this morning even after a solid 8 hours. Sitting here 30 minutes after being awake I feel like the bed is still calling me! I think there are a couple of reasons for that. 1. I have a very very very comfy bed. 2. I have in fact moved in some forward motion for 14 or so days straight, yesterday being a bit of a harder one. (I have a rest day it is Sunday so I guess I shouldn't stay straight but you get what I mean.) 3. Do you know how hard it is to get up when your snuggle buddies have no desire to??? 4. My tried and true method of sleeping 3 to 5 hours a night turned on a dime about a year ago and I found myself needing more minutes, to the point I am now, 8 hours seems to be my minimum to function. I don't know what caused the shift, age maybe, obesity maybe, who knows but here we are just plain sleepy this morning after 8 hours. 5. The exhaustion of the last year is just catching up to me, in so many ways, but this could be one of them.
Speaking of exhaustion, I need a vacation. I need 4 to 5 days somewhere.. alone. I know that sounds awfully horrible and nasty and selfish doesn't it? Hell I would settle for 2. Just me.. some books.. some writing.. some working out.. some sleeping.. some resetting. I know you are thinking.. just go home for a couple of days.. When I do I feel so obligated to run around seeing the people I have missed for so long, that when I get back here I am even more exhausted! Sadly I can not think of one place that I want to go that doesn't sound exhausting just to plan out! Ed come get the dogs and just lock me in the house for 2 days! Hmmm.. that quarantine thing isn't sounding so bad at the moment. Jokes people I got jokes! Anyone got a vacation house open for the weekend?? Ahh but what a miracle that would be.
Speaking of miracles, have you seen my dad lately??? Dude! That man is a walking, talking, hunting, laughing, joking, MIRACLE. I can show you this progression in photos that would blow your mind. When Covid hit and they closed down the restaurants is when I started to spend more time in Mathews, so roughly a year ago this week. As the weeks passed by I noticed this downward slide in his health. I started to notice the massive weightloss, the lack of appetite, the general sickness in his eyes, probably around the end of June. On my birthday I realized things were getting worse because I remember being worried about him getting on the boat. By his birthday he was really bad and we started chasing down reasons and causes and diagnosis. He didn't hunt, he was constantly cold, he needed help doing things that he has done every day since he was old enough to have a dog, he was most definitely not my strong dad. Thanksgiving he was not good... by Christmas people would ask how he was and my response was.. and I hate to say this.. "If you want to see him, I think you should go see him now." I said things to him that I was scared I may never get the chance to say again. Fast forward to December 21st.. the bloody nose from hell. I have never seen anyone bleed so much and survive. I knew that day that my dad had days left... maybe weeks IF we were lucky. He was weak, he was tired, and to some degree he had just given up. Nothing was making him any better, we had test after test after test and everything was no .. no.. no.. nope. The one issue he does have is his heart valve, his heart failure doctor said repeatedly that he didn't feel dads symptoms were due to his heart, but it was the ONLY thing that we could find wrong. So we chased and chased and chased getting that repaired until the last phone call of "No, we are sorry.. your dad does not qualify for replacement." I cried that day, a lot. I knew that was the end, because dad had said so many times "When I get this heart fixed....." but we had reached a point that there just was no fix. When I told him that night, his response was not what I expected, he said "well I am surprised it took them this long to tell me no" somewhere in his heart he knew how unlikely it was. I can't tell you what has happened since or why, because we have not changed anything. In the process of all of this dad has stopped taking either 4 or 5 of his blood pressure and heart regulating medicines that he has been on for years. His blood pressure is normal with no medication, His heart rate is normal with no medication, and he has gone from sitting in his recliner for the majority of the day and only having strength to sit at the dinner table to eat, to going out and hunting 4 days last week, 2 days already this week and plans to split wood today. I am thinking of spending more time at home soon, he is that much better.
Speaking of going home, that gives me so much anxiety. Crazy right?? Being here has driven me crazy.. now going home is going to drive me crazy. Simply because of fear. What if I go home and ... those damn what if's. Either way it is on the realm of possibility. I am thinking right now two weeks here.. two weeks there. I know I can not do every other week, traveling every weekend would be the pits! But being home more is on the table, how exciting!
Speaking of exciting! You have reached the end of today's post. Take some time today and just think about what miracles have happened around you and be grateful for them.
Peace Love and Light,
Re
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