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Home away from home

6/6/2016

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Its been a rough week for a multitude of reasons. The one thing that kept me half way sane was this gym. It wasn't my gym... It wasn't THE Gym. It was just a gym with some stuff. It was a large place with lots of people.... I met one nice person. One person in a week spoke to me and asked me my name. That one person helped make it ok. It was far from perfect.

This last week has been filled with not so great food choices but I tried. I was out of my element... Out of my routine. I know some would say that this is life and you need to figure out how to eat when it happens. Maybe so but I did the best I could.
One thing that has me upset is missing boot camp. I was working so hard. I left my all on the floor or on the sand. I am sure some have watched me and thought.. Yea right going THAT slow??? Or maybe.. She used to be able to lift so much more. You aren't wrong. I made a mistake and ended up here. Fat. (Its ok Phyl being fat is a thing... Its a me thing at the moment and it is ok to face it so it can be fixed.) Anyhoo... When I realized this trip was happening I had a choice to make. I could sit on my fat ass and eat bonbons or I could join a gym for a week and at the very least try. I chose to try. I have made it to this gym 4 times so and went on a run, missing two days that could not be helped. I made it into this building with shiny happy skinny people and I left my all on their floor even if no one knew my name.
I actually learned a lot about myself and others this week. Its better to walk in and work out and look fat than it is to not go in the door and just look fat in your car. Its just as easy to dance up a huge sweat like a foolish zumba queen with people you don't know to songs you have never heard as it is with people you love and songs you have heard a hundred times. The gym rats will look at you a little funny in a place like this when you invade their space but will quickly go back to grunting over their own weights once they realize you know what you are doing. But I think the greatest thing I learned is that if you HAVE a plan its pretty easy to stick to it. Now to make that work with food all the time.

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