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I am sad

1/4/2020

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Picture
I wrote this 2 years ago today....
Its true now ...
And yes I am sad...
I have been struggling for a few days with just a hurt and sadness that I can not quite put my finger on. I am trying to fight it all... I am just tired. I don't know what it is I am fighting for anymore.
I struggle to lose this weight and I am getting no where... the scale hates me and I am still fat. Not to mention my body is in pain constantly.
I struggle to maintain friendships and relationships but feel misunderstood and like I dont fully belong anywhere anymore.
I struggle to concentrate at work and most of the time put on 137% but only get acknowledged if I mess up.
I was cruising along doing ok and now I am not... I feel like somehow after working so hard to get here I am failing. And how do you say... Hey... I am not ok... when everyone thinks you are doing great.
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