On Saturday morning I was completely overwhelmed with my house. The state of it. I do not know why Saturday morning but it was Saturday morning. Thankfully instead of the usual complete melt down and 3 hours cry session over how horrible I have been and the things I haven't done as I should I just started doing. I think it started with picking up the dogs toys and vacuuming, then the kitchen floor (where by the way I thought it would be fun to reenact a scene from the Godfather with wire and my fingers instead of my throat.. it had close to the same outcome.. lots of blood) then dusting, then bathroom.. on and on and on until right at 10 hours later my living quarters were clean. Yes I know you are all thinking well what other quarters are there.. there are the boys quarters. I have resolved myself to the fact that they are not my quarters and if they want to live in stinky quarters so be it. I actually felt incredibly accomplished, however, it was things that should have been done weeks ago and instead my depression took over and I just did not have the energy to do anything about it even though I did care. It wasn't hoarder bad by any means but I didn't want anyone in here, simply because to an OCD Clean freak a layer of dust is unacceptable for anyone to see. (and that was the longest paragraph in the history of paragraphs)
So during my cleaning session I took a few minutes and put this on Facebook.
"I have said it more than once but I am going to say it again because it bears repeating.. over and over and over. I cannot tell you how many times i have heard "I feel so helpless, I don't know how to help you" I am sure many of you feel that way. Not only towards me and this terrible depressive funk that I have been in since September but other people. People who have lost a child, a spouse, people who just battle depression.. people you want to help but have no idea how to. More than likely there are more than one of you that feel that way about the same person.. get together with them and hire a maid to come in once a week for awhile.
Trust me on this.. from a super clean OCD freak (just ask Kris Summers-Dentler she had to live with my insane self.. the self who if I didn't like how something was in the fridge I would empty it clean it and put it all back.. the self who would be cleaning and she would come home and say but it hasn't even had time to get dirty yet.. the self who if one thing was out of place in a room it took a good hour to finish because once you spot one thing there are many many others) I am currently completely tee totally overwhelmed with my house..
I would be horrified for a friend to help me (many were turned down or given the sure we can do that I will call you), I don't want a friend helping me clean a toilet, or cleaning off my porch, or doing laundry but a stranger that is paid to do such a thing.. that can be dealt with.
I know you are wondering why I don't just do that myself. I will tell you.
1. It's too late, by the time I realize that IT HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW.. it is RIGHT NOW and there is no one to call.
2. if I think about it on Monday I probably don't give a crap enough on Monday to call because RIGHT NOW has passed.
3. I will start today and think to myself I got this I will just do a room a day. I will finish it. A room will get done today but by the time THIS HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW comes around again that one room has to be started all over.
4. Why am I writing this instead of cleaning because there is someone else out there right now sitting on their sofa crying because vacuuming is too much and there are people that want to help and don't know how..
5. I have to end now before RIGHT NOW leaves me because there are tears in my eyes."
There. I said it.. my house is HORRID."
My point was that is a small way that a group of people can help someone who is in the depths of grief and depression. This is going to be a long post I apologize but this is all going somewhere I promise.
As I was cleaning and running and working this weekend my mind kept drifting back to a gofundme page I had read. Let me at first say I am not a huge fan of Go Fund Me. I have seen some pretty crazy things on there, people just begging for money to pay rent who don't work, people lying about their situation and getting money, so I will not lie when I first saw the page pop in my news feed I thought oh boy here we go again. Out of interest or curiosity I clicked the link.
The very first photo, it all clicked and fell together. Maddie.. Maddie McCann, Chris McCann was Maddie's daddy. Maddie was a classmate of Deanna's, she played ball, my daddy watched her play ball just as he is now watching her younger sister Kai Lee play. Maddie sat in a auditorium full of her classmates as they received their diplomas while two of her classmates did not walk across the stage. Maddie attended prom the night of Deanna's accident. Maddie was one of the many who lost classmates way too soon.
Lisa, Maddie's mom, posted this on her facebook the day of Deanna's accident.
"Suffer the children who carry on in the memories of their 2013 classmates lost too suddenly. May they all learn to care for and treasure the gift of life and the someday somehow recognize the meaning of such senseless endings and be hopeful for a new day to come again. I pray that they will come together and hold onto each other for support and the memories of those lost with kindness and compassion. Amen."
This family is now in crisis. I will not go into all of the details because again this is long and it is all written very well in their link so I will allow you to read the words of a family friend.
The bottom line here is Lisa, Maddie and the other kids need more help than a maid. Looking at the situation I feel oddly grateful that while the depression and grief has run rampant in my life I have not had the added financial worry and stress.
So for all of you that wondered at any time in your life.. "How can I help?" and you never found an answer. Here.. HERE IS YOUR ANSWER. I am not asking you to donate hundreds of dollars, unless of course you are stinking rich, then by all means donate hundreds of dollars, but the $5 that you would spend at Starbucks for 2 days is $10 and $10 is a day of electricity. Here is your chance to give back and make up for the time when you just had no clue how to help. Do it in memory of Deanna, or maybe your friends mother, or your best friend who suffered major depression and all you wanted to do was help. Do this in memory of them.
I also may add that if you are not fond of the Gofundme thing, contact me directly, I will give you an address as to where you can send a check.
Just please help support this family who was a loving part of my hometown. Let's show that we are a caring community! Let's answer Lisa's prayer "I pray that they will come together and hold onto each other for support and the memories of those lost with kindness and compassion. Amen" and now show her family kindness and compassion.
McCann Family Crisis Fund
That's all I got guys...
Much Love
Re
So during my cleaning session I took a few minutes and put this on Facebook.
"I have said it more than once but I am going to say it again because it bears repeating.. over and over and over. I cannot tell you how many times i have heard "I feel so helpless, I don't know how to help you" I am sure many of you feel that way. Not only towards me and this terrible depressive funk that I have been in since September but other people. People who have lost a child, a spouse, people who just battle depression.. people you want to help but have no idea how to. More than likely there are more than one of you that feel that way about the same person.. get together with them and hire a maid to come in once a week for awhile.
Trust me on this.. from a super clean OCD freak (just ask Kris Summers-Dentler she had to live with my insane self.. the self who if I didn't like how something was in the fridge I would empty it clean it and put it all back.. the self who would be cleaning and she would come home and say but it hasn't even had time to get dirty yet.. the self who if one thing was out of place in a room it took a good hour to finish because once you spot one thing there are many many others) I am currently completely tee totally overwhelmed with my house..
I would be horrified for a friend to help me (many were turned down or given the sure we can do that I will call you), I don't want a friend helping me clean a toilet, or cleaning off my porch, or doing laundry but a stranger that is paid to do such a thing.. that can be dealt with.
I know you are wondering why I don't just do that myself. I will tell you.
1. It's too late, by the time I realize that IT HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW.. it is RIGHT NOW and there is no one to call.
2. if I think about it on Monday I probably don't give a crap enough on Monday to call because RIGHT NOW has passed.
3. I will start today and think to myself I got this I will just do a room a day. I will finish it. A room will get done today but by the time THIS HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW comes around again that one room has to be started all over.
4. Why am I writing this instead of cleaning because there is someone else out there right now sitting on their sofa crying because vacuuming is too much and there are people that want to help and don't know how..
5. I have to end now before RIGHT NOW leaves me because there are tears in my eyes."
There. I said it.. my house is HORRID."
My point was that is a small way that a group of people can help someone who is in the depths of grief and depression. This is going to be a long post I apologize but this is all going somewhere I promise.
As I was cleaning and running and working this weekend my mind kept drifting back to a gofundme page I had read. Let me at first say I am not a huge fan of Go Fund Me. I have seen some pretty crazy things on there, people just begging for money to pay rent who don't work, people lying about their situation and getting money, so I will not lie when I first saw the page pop in my news feed I thought oh boy here we go again. Out of interest or curiosity I clicked the link.
The very first photo, it all clicked and fell together. Maddie.. Maddie McCann, Chris McCann was Maddie's daddy. Maddie was a classmate of Deanna's, she played ball, my daddy watched her play ball just as he is now watching her younger sister Kai Lee play. Maddie sat in a auditorium full of her classmates as they received their diplomas while two of her classmates did not walk across the stage. Maddie attended prom the night of Deanna's accident. Maddie was one of the many who lost classmates way too soon.
Lisa, Maddie's mom, posted this on her facebook the day of Deanna's accident.
"Suffer the children who carry on in the memories of their 2013 classmates lost too suddenly. May they all learn to care for and treasure the gift of life and the someday somehow recognize the meaning of such senseless endings and be hopeful for a new day to come again. I pray that they will come together and hold onto each other for support and the memories of those lost with kindness and compassion. Amen."
This family is now in crisis. I will not go into all of the details because again this is long and it is all written very well in their link so I will allow you to read the words of a family friend.
The bottom line here is Lisa, Maddie and the other kids need more help than a maid. Looking at the situation I feel oddly grateful that while the depression and grief has run rampant in my life I have not had the added financial worry and stress.
So for all of you that wondered at any time in your life.. "How can I help?" and you never found an answer. Here.. HERE IS YOUR ANSWER. I am not asking you to donate hundreds of dollars, unless of course you are stinking rich, then by all means donate hundreds of dollars, but the $5 that you would spend at Starbucks for 2 days is $10 and $10 is a day of electricity. Here is your chance to give back and make up for the time when you just had no clue how to help. Do it in memory of Deanna, or maybe your friends mother, or your best friend who suffered major depression and all you wanted to do was help. Do this in memory of them.
I also may add that if you are not fond of the Gofundme thing, contact me directly, I will give you an address as to where you can send a check.
Just please help support this family who was a loving part of my hometown. Let's show that we are a caring community! Let's answer Lisa's prayer "I pray that they will come together and hold onto each other for support and the memories of those lost with kindness and compassion. Amen" and now show her family kindness and compassion.
McCann Family Crisis Fund
That's all I got guys...
Much Love
Re
RSS Feed
