Give. Live. Hug.
Follow Me:
  • Re's Journey
    • Re's Journey 2011-2013
    • Re's Journey 2007 - 2011
  • Spindles
  • Cafe Mais Sha
  • De's Story
    • Photos of De
    • Signs of De
    • Deanna Hugs
  • Glimpses into my mind
  • Banx, Kittum and Fat Beagle
  • Favorite People, Places and Things
    • Family and Friends
    • Bootcamp Family
    • Favorite Places and Things
    • Me!
    • Crafties I Made
    • Deanna's Christmas Tree
  • Encouragements, Insights, and Funnies
    • Encouragement MeMes
    • Funny MeMes
    • Grief Memes
    • Favorite Postsecrets
    • Words of Support from April 20th
  • Races, Runs and other Fun Events
    • Deanna's Candle Light Service
    • Deanna's 5k 2013
    • Pretty Muddy
    • OBX Marathon 2013
  • Contact Us

Irrational Thoughts

3/16/2015

6 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
This was the last time I ran with Deanna. These are also two of my favorite pictures. The look of complete dread on our faces tell a story.. It isn't one of "OMG we are going to die where is the finish line??" it is "OMG HE is going to die where is the finish line??!!??" I had yelled at her about a half a mile back to quit lolly gagging and run, she did then she did what I had already done and turned around and came back for her granddaddy. The look on his face tells a completely different story. "LOOK THERE IS THE FINISH LINE I AM NOT GOING TO DIE." Trust me.. even that close we weren't all that sure. He sounded a lot like a wild boar running in the African Jungle being chased by a laughing hyena. (Do wild boars live in Africa?? I am sure they do) Don't worry he knows we were concerned.. I think at one point he was too.

I have been a bit silent lately, simply because I have been really busy. Busy running.. or whatever that thing is I do.. for 41 miles over the last 8 days. No I did not spread it out evenly though, that would have been too easy. Why in the world am I doing that you ask? Because this coming Sunday I will complete 26.2 miles. I may have to finish it crawling and I may not make the deadline.. (that is a huge may I think I have the deadline beat.. I may not have any other person on the field beat but I think I can beat the deadline) and even if I don't beat the deadline you best bet your cute hiney if I get on that Army base I WILL finish. No one will pick me up.. I will continue until I get myself to the finish line.

I didn't do this the smart way, not at all, but then again when have I ever been smart about this whole running thing. Sure I trained for a half marathon in 6 weeks.. from Couch to 13.1miles in 6 short weeks. Most people it is Couch to 5k in 6 weeks.. that is a slight difference of 10 miles. For the marathon.. I didn't train. I didn't do much of anything over the winter, as you all so well know, but cry. I didn't eat right.. I didn't exercise... but on February 22nd I decided.. fine I will do it. (ps then I decided I wasn't.. then I decided I was.. then I decided I wasn't .. now I have resolved myself to I am) Since that date I have held to training. WOOHOO 4 whole weeks of training for 26.2 miles. Yes I realize there is something incredibly wrong and messed up with my way of thinking. Completely irrational, but it is what I do.

I was talking to my friend the other day.. I will keep her name anonymous at this point, maybe she will relay the story at my funeral and then you will all know who it was. It went something like this.

Her: Are you really doing the marathon?
Me: Yup
Her: When so I know when to pray?
Me: March 22nd
Her: Okie dokie got it covered.
Me: I may die
Her: Yup but that's a win too.
Me: Yup.. I can see the conversation now.. MOM!!! What are you doing here?? "I did a marathon without training." Deanna:"AGAIN???"

There is one thing I can consistent about .. not training right. This is the 3rd marathon I am going to complete. The first two were not timed events and I just did them. No training AT ALL! So 4 weeks of it is an improvement.

I have cried an untold amount of tears because Deanna won't be there at the finish. I know that some people have said she probably wouldn't be there anyway, that it is just me wishing she would have come. She would have been there. She gets it. She got the whole bootcamp mentality and how we support each other and how we come back and get each other. She went to heaven in her bootcamp shirt.. seriously. In heaven right now there is an angel sporting red. Now keep in mind she probably would not have actually SEEN the finish because she was too busy eating a breakfast while I was running (that happened.. seriously she and my daddy were like 5 minutes late from seeing me finish the OBX half in 2012 because they were eating.. I was running and THEY WERE EATING!!)


Picture
She made this poster that year.. it is hanging still in the same place on the back of my front door. The colors are fading.. the pinks are almost gone... her memory is not. Sunday will be hard for a lot of reasons.. it will be painful.. my feet will hurt.. my legs will hurt.. my brain will tell me repeatedly you can't do this.. but I need to listen to my heart. My heart will be saying "Way 2 Go Mommy!!! I am right here with you.. we will finish this."

To be continued....
6 Comments
Eric Riley
3/15/2015 11:58:39 pm

Deanna will be there at the finish line.

Reply
Sherrie
3/16/2015 12:01:50 am

Good for you for making the effort! I wouldn't finish because I would never start. I am quite sure you will finish and Deanna will be with you all the way, from start to finish. Good luck and beat that clock!

Reply
Renee E
3/16/2015 12:19:38 am

Good for you, but I'm like your friend, I will be praying! But proud of you as I wouldn't even start!. Yes and the Angel will be there with you as well to carry you over the line! You Go!

Reply
Amy W
3/16/2015 12:29:50 am

Deanna will be at the finish line. And she will be with you the entire course. Fret not.

And you are now qualified to join the "I don't train. I register" club.

Reply
Adrienne
3/16/2015 04:05:53 am

So proud of you!! And you aught to be too. Clearly, Dee was proud of you. Keep making her proud.

Reply
Melinda
3/16/2015 09:07:47 pm

This made me cry, so beautiful. I will be there to watch you finish :) I love you so much!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

        Author

    De's Mommy
    Re
    Ann Marie
    Rhiannon Phoenix Mariah Dawn
    President of the Pro Bailers

    All of them are me!

    Blogs I Love!

    Life in Mathews
    Living in the Shadow
    Fosterhood in NYC
    Post Secret
    Hyperbole and a Half
    The Bloggess

    Archives

    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013

    Categories

    All
    #anger
    #bootcamp
    #deannahug
    #givelivehug
    #grief
    #looneytoons
    #onesaved
    #shame

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.