This is an angel cabinet, not everyone has one of these but I do. It holds.. belongs... personal affects.. stuff.. things.. treasures of my angels. From little Dustin, to Deanna, Grandparents... Charlie. Its all in there. It has grown dramatically with the addition of Deanna's things as I could not bare to part with much of anything. Yes there are even some articles of clothes.
It is starting to feel like an anchor that is holding me down in grief and sadness. I don't have to even look at it and I know it is there weighing me down. Holding me in a place that wants to believe that she is going to one day walk through the door and say.. "Mommy! You kept my things! Thank you!" That isn't going to happen. No matter how much I pray and wish and hope, she's not coming home.
I have made a decision. When I move, which I have all faith and belief that the move is happening soon, the cabinet is not going with me. While I am not handing out the items stored in the cabinet to be sold off in a yard sale, or boxing them up even, they will no longer reside in the same space as me.
It's time to let go of some of the pain.
It is starting to feel like an anchor that is holding me down in grief and sadness. I don't have to even look at it and I know it is there weighing me down. Holding me in a place that wants to believe that she is going to one day walk through the door and say.. "Mommy! You kept my things! Thank you!" That isn't going to happen. No matter how much I pray and wish and hope, she's not coming home.
I have made a decision. When I move, which I have all faith and belief that the move is happening soon, the cabinet is not going with me. While I am not handing out the items stored in the cabinet to be sold off in a yard sale, or boxing them up even, they will no longer reside in the same space as me.
It's time to let go of some of the pain.
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