Good Morning my Lovelies!
Boy do I have a story for you today. Yesterday was an adventure if nothing else.
Dad and I are tying up a few loose ends from his illness and ensuring that there was no lasting damage to his heart. The doctors say that these are the last tests, I am hopeful they are because there is not an inch that has not been scanned, x-rayed, or poked on the man. So off to Norfolk we went. This particular test required a dye injection and a 3 hour wait. We chose to run to the Mart of Walls for a few items and grab something in between breakfast and lunch but not really brunch either. The little dude that was helping dad out with the tests asks him "Do you know where to go eat?" to which dad reports he told him that I am sure my daughter has something in mind. And there is our first mistake of the day.
I know absolutely NOTHING about where we are. Every other test, procedure etc we have always driven towards home before stopping, but this was new and something different had to be tried. So we picked up our wares and I started the google search. Dad is mumbling about Golden Corral which by the way was 15 miles away so you are talking 30 minutes easy. I tried to explain that I have no desire to go there, the last time we went it was pretty darn bad and trying to Keto at a buffet that is called a Corral as it is.. no thank you, I have images of pigs at a trough just thinking of it. (Sorry my love I know it is you and Henry Boo's jam but .. yea just sorry) So I am scrolling through and nothing is really striking me, lots of fast food and the couple decent looking places are in the opposite direction, then.. OH LOOK A LINK of the ten top places to eat near Norfolk General. The first place was a pizza joint, nope, the second place was super high end which I would have loved, the third, "Oh we passed that little place on the way here!" So I went about checking them out online and peeped their food pics and what type of place it advertised as Caribbean and Seafood so the name makes sense. The food pics did look nice and I saw I could grab some wings and a salad my easy peasy go to. So off we set to Cock Island, why this was not raising red flags to me already I do not know.
As we pulled into the parking lot the little building was not a lot to look at but I try not to judge books by their covers, and there was a sweet little old man in the parking lot getting out of his car to go in (ps I do not know where he ended up) So in we go. Waitress nearly runs to the door with menus asking what we want to drink before we ever get to a table. I find that curious and odd but ok.. it's lunch I have been known ask as people were sitting down if I was busy, so nothing too bad. We find a table and dad goes off to the bathroom. In the few minutes he was gone this gentleman and I use that term so loosely stumbles his way across the room and sits right down at the table with me. My head is screaming ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION but I am absolutely frozen. I ask Buddy.. (yes his name is Buddy I know this because the waitress said "Buddy behave yourself" at least 30 times during the course of our lunch.) what exactly he is doing, he replies with sitting here. I said.. but this is my table. I have to hand it to him at this point he really tries, he glances around and says "Yea.. well there aren't many places to sit in here and I thought I could sit with you" I explain I am having lunch with my dad and he promptly gets up and the waitress again says "Buddy Behave!"
To say this place had a cast of characters is an understatement. There was Buddy the apparently resident drunk. There was the homeless dude. There was a mom and a daughter with a young kid, kinda hiding in the corner, the older mother kept running back and forth to the kitchen in flip flops. There were two young men loudly talking about ball games and one had a tooth ache. There was the couple sitting beside us who appeared as lost as we were. There was the waitress who was in the weeds the whole time. There was the redneck grass cutter who is now going to cut Buddy's grass for $30 a week and go in his house and turn on the AC if he gets hot, oh and there is plenty of beer or booze there to help himself too. There was the older gentleman in the shadowy corner who greeted everyone when they came in and left. I was in my element, dad... not so much. Shortly after sitting down he starts muttering too me, cutting his eyes and shaking his head in this disapproving way. I explain that I am sorry that the website obviously didn't advertise this as the local bar, but we had our drinks and he made no recommendation to leave so I figure we are just going to stick it out. Mistake number two.
We ordered, he ordered a club sandwich, it was actually a REALLY good looking sandwich. They had so many other options on the menu that I think he would have been happier with, I saw the fish go out it looked amazing, and the burgers I saw.. I would have given $20s for one of them, and they had THE GOOD FRIES! I made the comment that his sandwich looked good, and again I am met with the disapproving gaze, and a mutter about how it is not Golden Corral. By this point my already broken self is on the verge of tears, even in the comical scene around me, I am just crushed. Why can this man not see I am doing all I can? I didn't google where is the worst place to take your father in Norfolk. Why is this even all on me? The entire world knows I am on the verge of falling apart except him and apparently the other human that should be helping with this kind of thing. Instead of just chalking it up to, well we tried and that didn't work out so well, it was used a situation to shame me. I then was not amused, I was hurt, but do you think I said anything, nope. I kept right on nibbling my wing (which were really good). I paid we left, he again made a snarky comment about how he was glad to see his dog box was still on his truck. At this point I had the right to remain silent but not the ability, I retorted with those people don't even know what a DOG BOX IS!
Back to the hospital we go, I tried to make light of the events but he was content to fume at me some more. He laughed a little bit but not much. So we pretty much just sat in silence until they take him to get his test and then we are headed home. Me being me.. I know he is all mad and miserable so I decided to make it up to him, and took him to Surf Rider in Poquson. When we pulled in he says, "I'm not hungry!" I said "And I'm not cooking tonight". He then agreed that he could try a little something. I got the salad that I love and he clam strips which he ate all of by the way, as he ate his meal he was more talkative and his mood was lifting. We finish up and by the time it was time to check out I thought the events of the morning were behind us. Mistake number three.
We head out on out journey back home and not 2 miles from the restaurant he pipes up and says. "Well I am sure glad the day ended better than it started!" Oh great.. we are back here again. I responded with "Well you know it is always an adventure with me" He comes back with, "I don't know what you were thinking? Taking ME to a place like that! I think you could have done better than that!" I sat there for a minute thinking well... "you aren't exactly a royal dad.." but I didn't say it. Instead I said this. "I have told you and told you, I didn't know anymore about that place than you did when I walked in" He says well you didn't try to leave either. "No dad.. and neither did you. Besides you are looking at this all wrong." He attempted to interrupted and I said "No.. you are looking at it wrong period. You are right we could have had Golden Corral, we could have gone to Norfolk, gone where you wanted to eat, gotten the test and come home. Nothing eventful and boring. Three months from now you would not even remember this day, because it would have been nothing more than any other day. This day now.. you will never ever forget, when you are dead and gone I can promise you I will remember the day I took my 77 year old dad to a dive bar for lunch and I will laugh remembering the cast of characters, it is highly unlikely that I would have remembered Golden Corrals over cooked chicken. Today was what you made it, you made it something to be mad about, not an adventure to remember. You also made the comment that dinner was so much better than your lunch was, ok yes I will give you that, your hand battered clam strips were amazing, but would you even know that if everything was always good, how would you even know what good was if you didn't eat a not so good sandwich from time to time... (the sandwich was not bad.. I am telling you I don't think I have ever seen a more delightful club sandwich)" There is a deafening pause when I stopped talking. to which my brain was again screaming ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION. I am waiting on the chastising comment but instead dad laughs and says.. "You're right"
Dad was so hung up yesterday on how that lunch went that he let it just overshadow everything else. I understand that, the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. I get so hung up on my weight and how i got here that I can't see the strides and progress I am making. I get so hung up on their deaths that I can't see the memories that I have, or even move ahead to making new ones. I get so hung up on the bad that it overshadows everything and I can't seem to remember that without the rain we would never appreciate the sun. Without the dive bar, we would never know adventure.
I don't know who that person was that was talking yesterday, but she made some really great points, I think I want to be her friend. Because in her words she understands that the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem. I also realized one final thing this morning, no mistakes were made yesterday, every thing happened exactly as it should have, without them, I would not have the memory of this day.
I am signing off today with this, if you ever find yourself in Norfolk needing a place to eat, only go to Cock Island if you are looking for adventure, because it is clearly not a place for royals.
Peace Love and Light
Re
Boy do I have a story for you today. Yesterday was an adventure if nothing else.
Dad and I are tying up a few loose ends from his illness and ensuring that there was no lasting damage to his heart. The doctors say that these are the last tests, I am hopeful they are because there is not an inch that has not been scanned, x-rayed, or poked on the man. So off to Norfolk we went. This particular test required a dye injection and a 3 hour wait. We chose to run to the Mart of Walls for a few items and grab something in between breakfast and lunch but not really brunch either. The little dude that was helping dad out with the tests asks him "Do you know where to go eat?" to which dad reports he told him that I am sure my daughter has something in mind. And there is our first mistake of the day.
I know absolutely NOTHING about where we are. Every other test, procedure etc we have always driven towards home before stopping, but this was new and something different had to be tried. So we picked up our wares and I started the google search. Dad is mumbling about Golden Corral which by the way was 15 miles away so you are talking 30 minutes easy. I tried to explain that I have no desire to go there, the last time we went it was pretty darn bad and trying to Keto at a buffet that is called a Corral as it is.. no thank you, I have images of pigs at a trough just thinking of it. (Sorry my love I know it is you and Henry Boo's jam but .. yea just sorry) So I am scrolling through and nothing is really striking me, lots of fast food and the couple decent looking places are in the opposite direction, then.. OH LOOK A LINK of the ten top places to eat near Norfolk General. The first place was a pizza joint, nope, the second place was super high end which I would have loved, the third, "Oh we passed that little place on the way here!" So I went about checking them out online and peeped their food pics and what type of place it advertised as Caribbean and Seafood so the name makes sense. The food pics did look nice and I saw I could grab some wings and a salad my easy peasy go to. So off we set to Cock Island, why this was not raising red flags to me already I do not know.
As we pulled into the parking lot the little building was not a lot to look at but I try not to judge books by their covers, and there was a sweet little old man in the parking lot getting out of his car to go in (ps I do not know where he ended up) So in we go. Waitress nearly runs to the door with menus asking what we want to drink before we ever get to a table. I find that curious and odd but ok.. it's lunch I have been known ask as people were sitting down if I was busy, so nothing too bad. We find a table and dad goes off to the bathroom. In the few minutes he was gone this gentleman and I use that term so loosely stumbles his way across the room and sits right down at the table with me. My head is screaming ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION but I am absolutely frozen. I ask Buddy.. (yes his name is Buddy I know this because the waitress said "Buddy behave yourself" at least 30 times during the course of our lunch.) what exactly he is doing, he replies with sitting here. I said.. but this is my table. I have to hand it to him at this point he really tries, he glances around and says "Yea.. well there aren't many places to sit in here and I thought I could sit with you" I explain I am having lunch with my dad and he promptly gets up and the waitress again says "Buddy Behave!"
To say this place had a cast of characters is an understatement. There was Buddy the apparently resident drunk. There was the homeless dude. There was a mom and a daughter with a young kid, kinda hiding in the corner, the older mother kept running back and forth to the kitchen in flip flops. There were two young men loudly talking about ball games and one had a tooth ache. There was the couple sitting beside us who appeared as lost as we were. There was the waitress who was in the weeds the whole time. There was the redneck grass cutter who is now going to cut Buddy's grass for $30 a week and go in his house and turn on the AC if he gets hot, oh and there is plenty of beer or booze there to help himself too. There was the older gentleman in the shadowy corner who greeted everyone when they came in and left. I was in my element, dad... not so much. Shortly after sitting down he starts muttering too me, cutting his eyes and shaking his head in this disapproving way. I explain that I am sorry that the website obviously didn't advertise this as the local bar, but we had our drinks and he made no recommendation to leave so I figure we are just going to stick it out. Mistake number two.
We ordered, he ordered a club sandwich, it was actually a REALLY good looking sandwich. They had so many other options on the menu that I think he would have been happier with, I saw the fish go out it looked amazing, and the burgers I saw.. I would have given $20s for one of them, and they had THE GOOD FRIES! I made the comment that his sandwich looked good, and again I am met with the disapproving gaze, and a mutter about how it is not Golden Corral. By this point my already broken self is on the verge of tears, even in the comical scene around me, I am just crushed. Why can this man not see I am doing all I can? I didn't google where is the worst place to take your father in Norfolk. Why is this even all on me? The entire world knows I am on the verge of falling apart except him and apparently the other human that should be helping with this kind of thing. Instead of just chalking it up to, well we tried and that didn't work out so well, it was used a situation to shame me. I then was not amused, I was hurt, but do you think I said anything, nope. I kept right on nibbling my wing (which were really good). I paid we left, he again made a snarky comment about how he was glad to see his dog box was still on his truck. At this point I had the right to remain silent but not the ability, I retorted with those people don't even know what a DOG BOX IS!
Back to the hospital we go, I tried to make light of the events but he was content to fume at me some more. He laughed a little bit but not much. So we pretty much just sat in silence until they take him to get his test and then we are headed home. Me being me.. I know he is all mad and miserable so I decided to make it up to him, and took him to Surf Rider in Poquson. When we pulled in he says, "I'm not hungry!" I said "And I'm not cooking tonight". He then agreed that he could try a little something. I got the salad that I love and he clam strips which he ate all of by the way, as he ate his meal he was more talkative and his mood was lifting. We finish up and by the time it was time to check out I thought the events of the morning were behind us. Mistake number three.
We head out on out journey back home and not 2 miles from the restaurant he pipes up and says. "Well I am sure glad the day ended better than it started!" Oh great.. we are back here again. I responded with "Well you know it is always an adventure with me" He comes back with, "I don't know what you were thinking? Taking ME to a place like that! I think you could have done better than that!" I sat there for a minute thinking well... "you aren't exactly a royal dad.." but I didn't say it. Instead I said this. "I have told you and told you, I didn't know anymore about that place than you did when I walked in" He says well you didn't try to leave either. "No dad.. and neither did you. Besides you are looking at this all wrong." He attempted to interrupted and I said "No.. you are looking at it wrong period. You are right we could have had Golden Corral, we could have gone to Norfolk, gone where you wanted to eat, gotten the test and come home. Nothing eventful and boring. Three months from now you would not even remember this day, because it would have been nothing more than any other day. This day now.. you will never ever forget, when you are dead and gone I can promise you I will remember the day I took my 77 year old dad to a dive bar for lunch and I will laugh remembering the cast of characters, it is highly unlikely that I would have remembered Golden Corrals over cooked chicken. Today was what you made it, you made it something to be mad about, not an adventure to remember. You also made the comment that dinner was so much better than your lunch was, ok yes I will give you that, your hand battered clam strips were amazing, but would you even know that if everything was always good, how would you even know what good was if you didn't eat a not so good sandwich from time to time... (the sandwich was not bad.. I am telling you I don't think I have ever seen a more delightful club sandwich)" There is a deafening pause when I stopped talking. to which my brain was again screaming ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION. I am waiting on the chastising comment but instead dad laughs and says.. "You're right"
Dad was so hung up yesterday on how that lunch went that he let it just overshadow everything else. I understand that, the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. I get so hung up on my weight and how i got here that I can't see the strides and progress I am making. I get so hung up on their deaths that I can't see the memories that I have, or even move ahead to making new ones. I get so hung up on the bad that it overshadows everything and I can't seem to remember that without the rain we would never appreciate the sun. Without the dive bar, we would never know adventure.
I don't know who that person was that was talking yesterday, but she made some really great points, I think I want to be her friend. Because in her words she understands that the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem. I also realized one final thing this morning, no mistakes were made yesterday, every thing happened exactly as it should have, without them, I would not have the memory of this day.
I am signing off today with this, if you ever find yourself in Norfolk needing a place to eat, only go to Cock Island if you are looking for adventure, because it is clearly not a place for royals.
Peace Love and Light
Re
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