Do you believe that love is all we need? I do. I know you are thinking no way, no how! I need to eat! I need my coffee! I need money, housing, clothes... the list goes on and on and on. Believe it or not.. all of those things stem from love. Que Tina... What's love got to do with all of that you ask? Simple.
You need to eat? It was the love of growing and producing food by the farmer that led the food to your table. You need coffee? Same deal, someones love for coffee produced the roast that you are sipping as you read this. Money? Your job.. do you think it would exist if it were not for love? Someone loved something enough to build a business that you work for, or you may have your own business which I imagine is your baby. Your house? Someone loved the design, someone lovingly placed every board in place. When you look back on things... love is truly all you need.
You are probably thinking what in the world does any of this have to do with the price of eggs in China. Nothing really because I don't buy my eggs from China, I get my eggs from someone local who happens to love their chickens (see what I did there?) The truth is none of that is actually the kind of love I am here to talk about. I am here to talk about the love that my family and friends and some times complete strangers have given me over the last two and a half years that have carried me through.
Sometimes it was just a simple nod of understanding by someone in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes it was a full fledged I am here to check on you because I am that worried. Sometimes it was the tightest hardest hug that you could imagine. Sometimes it was a pat on the head (yes my Diddy still does that) and a quiet I love you. Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers waiting. Sometimes it was staying behind in a tough race to get me through. Sometimes it was a phone call. Sometimes it was a special gift. Sometimes it was a warm snuggle and a cold nose. Sometimes it was the dishes washed with out me asking. Sometimes it was talking about Deanna. Sometimes it was just letting me cry.
The love has presented itself in so many ways, but it was there. It is time that I acknowledged it. I do appreciate greatly each gesture of kindness and love. There are no words adequate to thank each of you with. I just need you to know I knew and will continue to know.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I wonder when a child is considered grown? It has taken a village to get me from April 20th, 2013 until this very moment. I imagine that it will continue to take a village to get me to next year at this moment. Don't panic, I am not expecting anything, I know some of you are tired, that you have pulled your weight and then some, that's ok. Take a break! You deserve it, I can be a handful.
In this life people come and people go. I am not talking about life and death, I am speaking of the shifting of your buckets. There is this video that talks about people being in this bucket or that bucket in your friend circle depending on when you need them closer to you, look it up it is interesting. The premise is that people don't really leave your life, they are just in a bucket farther from you at the moment. If you are lucky there are a few people that stay in the bucket closest to you for life. Your parents are the first people in most of our Love buckets, (I am grateful to have both of mine still with me) followed by siblings, (I haven't been the most successful at this but I do love my brother more than he will ever know), if you are lucky a best friend that has been around since grade school,(through ups and downs, in and outs, little tiffs and knock down drag outs, she is still right there in the bucket) then in waltzes the love of your life (this changes around for some people but if you are one of the really really lucky ones you got the right person in the bucket to start with, I have yet to master this one) sprinkle in some amazing friends and there you have an amazing Love bucket. I think they call it the first bucket but Love bucket sounds so much better.
Every once in awhile something amazing happens in this life and someone will cross our path and we have no idea whatsoever as to the reason why. It defies logic, not so much the path crossing but the love pull that person causes within us. I am a very lucky soul. I have this. Some would say she and I are kinder spirits, in the last few months the term soul child has popped into my head. This child reaches in and touches my soul with her smile, her attitude, her innocence and most of all with her love.
I am so very grateful that I was given the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving with her. When I got there she had the biggest surprise for me. A beautiful bouquet of.. feathers! This sweet child went to the beach that morning and gathered dozens if not hundreds of feathers. It was the most beautiful touching thing that anyone has ever done. Those weren't just any old feathers, they are Deanna feathers, feathers that are left from the wings of angels and she knew that they would make me happy. I know some of you are thinking yea right... feathers from an angel. Well let me tell you, when a 10 year old loves you enough to gather feathers and make sure they are in a beautiful vase, beside your bed.. they ARE in fact feathers from an angel... No matter how you look at it.
She loves to read, to create, fashion (her own personal style.. not I saw it in a magazine so I must have that) she loves hugs, matching converse (with me of course), she is learning to knit, going to learn to sew, loves creating art, she loves her friends... sound like anyone you know? I am telling you Soul Child.
I am getting to watch her grow, learn and become a young lady. For a mommy who lost her only daughter... there is no greater gift that could be given.
So to you Sandy and Melissa.. thank you! Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to love my little Hayley Bug. Thank you for allowing her to love me. I will never be able to repay the debt.. but I am here to tell you .. LOVE has everything to do with it!