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Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind...

2/18/2015

3 Comments

 
Picture
Some of you are probably looking at that thinking Dear Lord.. that is crazy... this isn't your brain on drugs people this is your brain on Re. All kinds of crazy going on up there.. all kinds. The problem with the all kinds of crazy is with all of that stuff stuck up there things that need to be stuck don't.

In the past week alone, I forgot my password again. You say you do that all the time, everyone does that. Really? To an application you have logged into for the last 5 years each and every day multiple times a day and you have to type the password each time?? No, no one does that. My phone, I lose it constantly, again you probably think everyone does that. Really? In their house when as far as they have walked is from the bedroom to the kitchen and poof GONE?? I found it after about an hour. It was on top of the trashcan. I don't lose my keys, I leave them in the truck. Please don't steal my truck, but I figure that a stolen truck is less hassle than losing your keys EACH AND EVERY DANG DAY! I forget if I have taken my meds, I don't know right now if I took today's, I think I did. Buy one of those pill things you say... I will WHEN I REMEMBER TO BUY IT!

Of the things that I lose the most aggravating right now it is words. I lose words. I forget the name of things, I can be having a normal every day conversation and need to name something, something simple, like buff because I wanted a running buff to keep my nose and breathing warm when I run in the cold weather (yea like i am ever going to run in the cold weather.. I don't know why I keep making these running promises to even myself.. I suck and I am stuck in a rut of I DO NOT WANT TO RUN) but I couldn't name it. I could not come out with the word Buff. I couldn't come up with muffin the other day. This happens daily.. like all the flipping time! Do you know how frustrating it is to constantly say.. give me awhile it will come to me.. ALL. THE TIME!

The crazy doctor, who is different from the talking doctor, because the talking doctor isn't crazy at all, but I am not too sure about the crazy doctor yet and if you go to a heart doctor for your heart I suppose I am going to crazy doctor for my crazy. By the way, can I just say I think it sucks that my talking doctor is so good. She is really really good, like I can't afford to be without her good, but if I could really go without her without having a complete melt down I would fire her just so she could be my friend. I think we would make good friends, she may not want someone crazy as me as a friend but that is where I stand on the subject. What was I talking about... Ohhh the crazy doctor. The last time I was there he told me that the human brain can have 7 conscious thoughts at one time and if you try to think of an 8th something has to go. I am not sure I believe that, I feel like thousands of thoughts are flying around my brain at one time, but I totally get forgetting something to think of something else. Like where I put my stupid phone! 

So now that I have unstuck a couple of thoughts out here on the internets I am going to try to remember that stupid password.

If you happen to run into me later today, this week, this month... remind me of who I am ok?

Much Love.
Re

(there at least I remember that.. speaking of Re,  it is quite funny that yesterday I asked one of my dearest friends to remember my first real name,  the response.. I don't think I ever knew it... CLASSIC!!!)
3 Comments
Adrienne
2/17/2015 10:03:32 pm

The chaos of your thoughts following loss is just your minds' way of trying to reconfigure things to figure out the new normal. You are trying to find your footing. You will become grounded again.

Reply
Edjie
2/17/2015 10:11:26 pm

And how mad do you get with me cause I ask you the same thing 20 times? You don't forget I asked, lol
You just got a lot on your mind, hard to keep up

Reply
Theresa
2/18/2015 12:25:34 am

those meds that WE "need" cause those memory problems... FACT I've had the EXACT problems... passwords, keys, phone, purse, paper, book, even CLOTHES. Imagine my dilemma when I have to hide something (that's vital to me) from someone else... I'M TOTALLY SCREWED when this happens. CONTINUE to hang on! I can't tell you it will get better, I can only tell you that I pray for you that it does. But, unfortunately, the prayers I pray for others don't get answered apparently, but I keep praying them anyway. I love you bunches.

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