Monday... a good a day to start over as any. I mean it is just an arbitrary day of the week, but I think we as a people hang a lot of weight on Mondays. Good weight and bad, who else spends most of Sunday dreading Monday? I know I do, why, because the alarm clock is set. Now keep in mind when it is not set I am usually awake and up before the sun but that is ok simply because I am awake because I want to be, not because I have to be. But alas here I am, up with the chickens writing about how this week is going to be a start over.
Why am I writing about it instead of just doing it? Because I have yet to succeed unless I am writing about it, as soon as I stop writing it all goes to hell. I hit a bump fall of the wagon and it runs over me and continues to loop around bumping over me repeatedly! When that happens I don't have the strength to even get out of it's way, or even my OWN way. So I do all of the crappy things that continue to keep me rooted in this fat suit I got going on. Please don't tell me to love myself and my body, because I absolutely do not love it and I honesty don't love my out of control self either. So it is time to reel a lot of crap back in and focus on my goals and not how badly I have messed up.... again.
I find that in writing I hold myself more accountable. Not only to a way of eating, but exercise routines, limiting alcohol, and must importantly to how I am feeling. It is so easy when I am not writing to just hide behind a cheese burger or a few beers than to face what is actually going on. And what has been going on is that I have really been in a crap place again. (I know you are not surprised) I am not at the bottom of the hole but I did fall back into it and have been holding on to the rope for dear life, I just have not had the energy to pull back up so I am have been just hanging around somewhere between the sunlight and rock bottom, but if I keep hanging around where I am now I am going to end up on a My 600lb life and Intervention crossover event.
Wishing you Peace Love and Light on this random Monday.
Re
Why am I writing about it instead of just doing it? Because I have yet to succeed unless I am writing about it, as soon as I stop writing it all goes to hell. I hit a bump fall of the wagon and it runs over me and continues to loop around bumping over me repeatedly! When that happens I don't have the strength to even get out of it's way, or even my OWN way. So I do all of the crappy things that continue to keep me rooted in this fat suit I got going on. Please don't tell me to love myself and my body, because I absolutely do not love it and I honesty don't love my out of control self either. So it is time to reel a lot of crap back in and focus on my goals and not how badly I have messed up.... again.
I find that in writing I hold myself more accountable. Not only to a way of eating, but exercise routines, limiting alcohol, and must importantly to how I am feeling. It is so easy when I am not writing to just hide behind a cheese burger or a few beers than to face what is actually going on. And what has been going on is that I have really been in a crap place again. (I know you are not surprised) I am not at the bottom of the hole but I did fall back into it and have been holding on to the rope for dear life, I just have not had the energy to pull back up so I am have been just hanging around somewhere between the sunlight and rock bottom, but if I keep hanging around where I am now I am going to end up on a My 600lb life and Intervention crossover event.
Wishing you Peace Love and Light on this random Monday.
Re
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