My Dearest Daughter...

Another angelversary has come, 3 years 6 months and 22 minutes right now. It has not gotten easier, it has gotten different. There are moments that stop me in my tracks and drop me to my knees still, I have a feeling that will happen for the remainder of my life, and that is ok. Moments in time is absolutely acceptable, and I think you will fully agree, but I know in my heart that you do not want me dwelling there. You would not want me to be stuck between life and death, you would want me to live.

It has taken me all of this time to get to the point where I feel like I could breathe again, where I could be again. This morning was number who even knows anymore bootcamp graduation. It was so incredibly surreal when Trusz had us stand on the ledge and look out over the ocean, he didn't even know that the last time I did that, it was you standing on that ledge with me, looking out over the same ocean, I smiled and remembered your pride and your smile that day. I glanced around and found your brother and I saw in him what I saw in you that day. I know with all my heart you stood with us this morning ... because as Chris said... "Just because you can't see it does not mean it is not there".... he had no clue how those simple words sang to my heart.

I love you my sweet beautiful angel.
With all my love always,
Mommy