(And one about some dude who can't sleep because he can't breath and would like for me to tell him how. Sorry buddy I am not a Dr but my suggestion would be Vicks, NyQuil and plenty of rest .. well you get the idea.)
I started looking at those things.. Happy Memories.. EASY have many... Healing.. Eh.. I am working on it I am a bit better each day.. maybe I can do that or a little something.. Forgiveness... HA! Not even going to attempt that one I don't come within a mile of being able to write on forgiveness, I stink at it. Then I thought why not, why can't I write on forgiveness. It is something I want to do, I want to be able to forgive people, I want people to be able to forgive me. Then of course my mind went one step farther, because that is how it operates and I can't leave well enough alone, kind of like if oil is made from dead dinosaurs, and plastic is made from oil are plastic dinosaurs made from real ones?? (Thank you Amanda for making me think about that all night.)
Lets think about it.. what are Happy Memories? The birth of your child? Getting a new car? A new better job? Time with friends and family? So many things can be "Happy Memories" but let a tragedy happen, a misunderstanding, or a fight and what happens to those happy memories? They are shadowed, tainted, still there but distorted with sadness, anger and hurt. A happy memory of a silly ride in a jeep holding cabbage can be turned into not the silliness of missing your turn, but the last time you saw your child alive, the happy memory turns into questions, did I hug her.. did I tell her I loved her.. what did she have on.. was she happy? The last time you spent time with a friend having wine and fixing the worlds issues, can turn into how come I was there for you, why did I bother, was anything you said even the truth? Happy memories shadowed. Does that mean they weren't happy memories? No, it means there is something in between you and the happy.
Ok I know what is between me and the happy, questions, hurt, anger, sadness, the real question is HOW do you get back to the happy and out of the shadows. Easy answer, Forgiveness. Like I said EASY answer.. not so easy to do, at least not for me. I can say all day long I forgive myself for not remembering, and the next day I still question myself, I forgive my friend for how things turned out, but still hold on to the anger, I forgive God for taking my babies and still wrap myself in the sadness. (Side Note: by stating God took my babies is really in no means that he took them away from me.. which is another whole topic all together so don't get hung up on that right now please.. just a way of stating it.)
fərˈgiv/verbverb: forgive; 3rd person present: forgives; past tense: forgave; gerund or present participle: forgiving; past participle: forgiven1.
stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
So by definition all I am not forgiving at all, I am getting by a moment in time with nothing more than a lie to myself. I may be forgetting the offense or hurt for a moment but not forgiving. Which is quite funny as I always say.. "OH I will forgive you but I won't forget." How many times have you said that? Technically what I am doing is the opposite I forget it for a bit, because as soon as the memory comes back so does the anger and resentment. The definition says STOP feeling angry or resentful towards.. not ok stop for a few minutes then you can start again, but how hard is it to stop these feelings when the offender is right there every day.. or isn't right there every day. There is a split second in the mornings before I get out of bed that all is right with the world, then I remember. There are hours that go by that people who have hurt me do not cross my mind, but then there they are on Facebook, or at the grocery store, or even a fleeting thought in my brain. I can go all day but then have to look in the mirror for something. That is when the shadows come in.. that is when the anger, hurt and sadness fills my heart. Question for you.. What if Jesus did that? "I forgive you.. but just right now.. not tomorrow.. tomorrow you go to hell.. but then I forgive you again.. but wait I remember you hurt me back to hell.. oh.. I am supposed to forgive you get back up here... no that was a minute ago.. go back to hell." Yikes. Just saying. Isn't that what we are doing to our own hearts and the hearts of others when we do that.. up down up down up down.. excuse me BUT HOW DOES ANYONE HEAL LIKE THAT???
Answer.. you don't. There is no healing.. it is a matter of heal a tiny bit.. RIP.. tiny bit.. RIP.. tiny bit.. RIP.. then before you know it you have a major infection of hurt, anger, sadness and resentment running through your entire life and then you die. Ok, that is a bit dramatic but you get the point. Without FORGIVENESS you are missing out on the Happy Memories you have made over your lifetime, you are missing out on a Healed healthy heart and mind that is completely willing and able to hear God's plans for you. So whats the answer here, forgive.
Let's look at the definition again.. STOP feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Hey.. read it again.. where does it say to forget? It doesn't. You CAN forgive without FORGETTING, you don't have to remember something with resentment and anger, you can remember that it happened and choose to use it as a life lesson, use it to remember to say I love you each and every time, use it to help walk away from a toxic situation and learn from it, use your forgiveness to make misdeeds stepping stones to better things, not anchors of guilt, pain, shame and hurt. Healing. When you start doing this.. you are healing, using forgiveness as an antibiotic to rid your life of the infection that is eating away at your heart.
So what is the bottom line here? Happy Memories can be tainted and over shadowed when we hold on to anger and resentment. Forgiveness only happens when you STOP feeling anger and resentment towards a situation or person. Healing can only happen when you Forgive and once you Forgive you will again have the Happy Memories you made even if in the future your Happiness is made in different way, your past is not over shadowed any longer.
That is the end of today's rambles..
PS Buddy.. I still don't know how to help you breath.