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Please don't make me apologize... 

11/14/2016

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Over the last few weeks I have noticed a trend with some of my friends and on Facebook in general, lots of sadness, darkness, hate, jealousy... people being unfriended and blocked because they voted different, because they are in a different place in life, because they are happy. Relationships and long time friendships being rocked... over what?

Believe me, I of ALL people know how hard it is to be depressed and in a darkness when the entire world seems to just be moving along in happiness. I myself wanted to scream STOP BEING SO DAMN HAPPY! I wanted everyone's world to come to a screeching halt as mine did.. and today.. today I am so enormously thankful that it did not and that some how I got through it with most of my friends intact. (we won't go through the details of the Great Falling out of 2013.. but it turned around to where it needed to be). It was brought to my attention that I posted lots of my negative feelings all over Facebook some times hourly, yes I did. I used it as a tool to not only work through issues myself but to maybe help others realize they weren't alone, but I do not recall unfriending people based on their own happiness, religious or political thoughts, or even threatening to unfriend.

One of the things that got me through the worst of times, was the positive people, even though witnessing their happiness added a twinge to my heart. The people that were happy and moving on with life, some after great tragedy themselves, gave me hope. Imagine if you will a world of people in the same exact place you are, if everyone is pitted in a deep sadness, who is going to be able to give anyone hope that it will get better? Imagine if everyone is happy all the time, we would not see any change in the world for the better, we would be stuck in a rut of just the same. I am so incredibly grateful for the different people in my life, even today. While I am in a wonderful place emotionally and physically (even if the scale nor tape measure moved this week) the others what are not so happy remind me of where I was, where I have come from, and to continue to trudge along and to try to reach out a helping hand.

Why do I say try to reach out a helping hand, because some people aren't ready for help. I get that, I was there. Plenty of people tried to help me and I just couldn't grasp the hand yet and thankfully when I was ready I had not alienated them to the point they no longer wanted to help me. Have I had to leave a few people along the way, yes, there were a few that benefited from my sadness as I fit better into their lives with it. I have had to walk away from a couple negative people as there just wasn't a purpose, but the positive people HOLD ON TO THOSE!

So what am I saying here, in this time of uncertainty, regardless if it is in your personal life, political, about your job, or your family, don't make me apologize for being ok. Don't condemn me for trying so hard to be the best me I can be. Don't make me feel bad for being the happiest I have been in years.

Don't make me apologize for seeing the light.

Peace and Love and full of Thankfulness,
Re
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