I am sitting here this morning utterly grateful. Last night was the very first of holiday’s meals and I will not in anyway minimize how incredibly hard that was without our Aunt Ann. When it came to holiday gatherings she was the absolute best, well maybe never on time but still the best.
I won’t deny that I was worried yesterday that the evening may be incredibly sad, I was worried for my dear cousins, and my incredible Darly John, that this dinner may be too soon, too much… but what met me at the door when I entered her home, was not sadness at all but I was met with Aunt Ann.
As I looked around and saw our family still gathering around her table, laughing in her kitchen, watching football, and kids flying in and out I knew that she was not missing, she was right there being the glue to our family she always was. You see Aunt Ann taught us many many many things, but one of the greatest was that we are a family and no matter what we come together, we break bread and we rejoice in having each other. Many people have come and gone from her table over the years as they needed, and I am so blessed to have had her teach us about the power of giving and sharing what we do have, but there is something special about that foundation of family that remains, they aren’t simply my cousins, aunt and uncle. They are so much closer and more than that… there is no word really, I may need to come up with one, even siblings does it a disservice. It is for those people that I am so grateful.
Renee… hats of to you! I promise you that Aunt Ann was incredibly proud of that dinner last night. Every last bite, you put in your love and it was delicious, even that stuffing you were so worried about was amazing. I definitely need to hit the gym this week hard! But I just want you to know I see you and I am so proud!
To the special angel that left gifts of peace around .. I see you too! Thank you for being amazing and so thoughtful! The peace will be cherished.
To all of the rest, I love you, and I am so blessed you are my family, thank you for being you.. for being Aunt Ann.. as she left herself in each of our hearts to continue her works.
This time of year is hard, I won’t lie, it always is for me. Today I am ok, I was asked last night and last night I was ok, and I am serious about that, I truly am OK right this minute and I am hopeful that this holiday season I will continue to be just that, because ok is better than the past 10 years.
I just want to take another minute here, to my friend who’s husband has been gone a year, my sister in law who recently lost her son, the family of the child who lost his life this week, my family who lost Langley, my cousins and friends who have lost their children, my friend who lost her dad this year, to even my immediate family who still struggle over the loss of Deanna and Little Dustin … I could go on and on and never finish this list, just know that I see you.. I feel you.. and most of all I wish for you to have a moment so powerful that you know without a doubt your loved one is right there with you…. A moment as I experienced last night.
I love and miss you Aunt Ann!
Peace Love and Light