Some days are a bit brighter..

Gorgeous dragonfly ornament from my dear friend Casey

Some days are a bit brighter than others, yesterday was one of those days and so far today is. I don't understand the dips and dives of pain and grief, I am not sure that anyone does. I know that articles have been published of the various stages and then the pendulum of many different mile stones that you will hit, I have read them but they are so inaccurate. I (and apparently others as I managed to find this on line) find the pendulum outline to be more correct if you look at the one on the right.

Nothing about this journey goes as one expects. One day I may be as unfunctional as the most mentally disturbed person you can think of and the next as awesome as ... well as me. Cause lets face it on those days I am down right awesome!

I do wish there was more understanding into what causes the really bad days so I could head them off before they grab hold and drag me into the darkness, but there is really no forewarning. It can be as quick as a switch, BLAM! tears, and they can last for 5 minutes or for days. Again there is no rhyme or reason to it. I can go to the cemetery and water her tree and be absolutely ok, when one would think that would be a massive trigger, yet come home and hear a happy Christmas song and lose my mind. It is such an unfair journey has it is, it seems that something could make it easier.

As for today, I am just going to take it minute by minute and try to make it awesome, if it turns to tears I will deal with that also, because at some point the scribble will scrabble back the other way.

Much Love
Re