The unexpected gift

I am probably going to embarrass her but I am doing this anyway.

I guess we should start from 4 and a half years ago, this beauty was supposed to move in my house with Deanna for the summer, but after the accident it just wasn't a great idea. I was in no place to continue on with plans that should have included De and she was in no place to deal with my grief nor I of hers.

Fast forward to this fall, more sadness, more tragedy but this time I was ready, I was able to say yes, I am here. I was in a place that I could open my home and offer her a place to be safe and warm, I will admit I did it reluctantly and I swore I wouldn't allow myself to be close to her or her dog. They could stay but it would just be that.. staying here, her doing her thing me doing mine.

BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA that worked about as well as you would expect.

First off Haley had a few trips planned so Bossy spent some time with Banx and I... and well you know me I fell in love. She is such a good girl and minds her manners most of the time. She isn't fond of being left by both Haley and I at the same time but we have a plan to keep her safe and protected. A few buns and a dinner of Drake's may have met its demise when left to her own devices but nothing that can't be fixed. I mean COME ON who can't love this face.

So began my love story with another beautiful creature. When Haley is home she doesn't stray far from her side, but when it is me she is then my shadow (unless the fire place is lit... but I would be there too if I weren't behind this keyboard). She hogs the covers at night, she takes my chair, runs of with Banx's toys, but most importantly she stole my heart.

I really didn't think I could do this again after Charlie but there she is making my heart happy.

The story doesn't end there. Haley didn't just share with me her puppy she shared with me her life. While nothing can ever fill the hole that was left when Deanna died having this sweet girl be part of my day to day is overwhelmingly powerful. It's a glimpse of what could have been. It's chats. It's coming and going. It's how does this dress look. It's hey can you watch the dog. It's late night wake ups. It's the sound of kids voices enjoying life. It's laughter. It's shared tears. It's blocked in cars. It's watching silly TV. It's just life.

While she has her own life and her own drum to march to, I am so grateful that she allows her music to fill my heart where it was so utterly quiet before. There is no doubt that two very busy angels made this happen, two broken hearts just needing something that were  brought together through tragedy.

Little did I know when I opened my door she would be the unexpected gift that opened my heart.

Merry Christmas, I love you more than you know.