Quick short little post this morning. Breaking my own rule and working before 6 am, but that is because we are leaving on a jet plane! No.. really a purple jeep but still we are leaving! As a family... which has not happened in almost 18 months!
Dad is doing so very well we all agree that it is time to get things to a different new normal. I want to say thank you to each and every one of you that prayed, sent good vibes, and continuously kept dad in your thoughts, because frankly.. he didn't get better from medical intervention, because nothing was ever done. I truly believe that when his life was spared, mine was as well, because looking back I would not have survived that. I don't know which one of us hasn't finished their jobs here.. maybe both of us, but here we are.
I know many people say that, things like I couldn't survive if I lost....________. I used to be one of those people. Then the unthinkable happened and I remained on earth. I don't know that what I what I have been doing the last 8 should be considered survival actually, it was more just existing somewhere I had no desire to be. I can tell you right now with all honesty, if dad had not made it through this, in the head space I was in, I am fully aware that I would no longer be here either. There would have been no, "Well shit I woke up".
Don't be sad about that, be grateful. I am. I have mentioned before that I felt like I continuously wake up in these alternate universes were things are the same but they are just different enough that the rules are all different and it takes navigating. This shift was absolutely no exception.
This shift, dad is getting better and better, stronger and stronger, has gained all but 4 pounds of his weight back, he carries on a conversation, he jokes and his sarcasm is back.
This shift, I am reading, learning, studying, writing, all of the things I can to try to learn me. I am working out and I eating 100% on a plan that I absolutely love. I measure the food I eat to the tablespoon, ounce, whatever is called for and it doesn't even feel weird. I like my coffee black or with a TINY and I do mean tiny bit of keto friendly coconut creamer just to take the bite off the first cup.
This shift my mom is my friend, we have been closer over the last years, but this shift, I see her differently, she is more than my mom, she is my confidant, my go to when I really need to talk through something terrible, the person who I know without a doubt I can call and not be judged, we literally talk every single day, as added icing on that cake she has been working out with me!
This shift my friends, I am not going to name you all by name that would take an insanely long time, you all feel different, I am not as concerned about "Oh my what will xyz think?" and feel more of my friends absolutely love me and I KNOW they have me through this, I seriously can't think of one of my friends if I called right now would not pick up the phone and do everything they could to help me, well there was Louise.. lol.
This shift I am completely and totally in love with love of my life. I mean who couldn't love Banx... KIDDING.. Ed I have loved you for so long, but this is different.. I want to be better for you, with you, and I want to enjoy what we have. What I am saying here is this.. this shift I want to be an active participant in living not just someone going through the motions.
Did I say this was going to be a short post? Sorry.
Anyway my point is this.. we are going on vacation! I may post.. I may not. Either way, thank you all for having patience, because while this shift is full of positives, it is a different set of rules, and those are always tricky to navigate, I am just grateful that I now if I stumble I have an entire army behind me to help catch me.
Signing off with this, have there been times in your life that the whole universe seemed to shift just a little? How did you navigate those times? If it shifted right now would you have the arsenal you needed to get you through it?
Peace, Love, and Light
Re
Dad is doing so very well we all agree that it is time to get things to a different new normal. I want to say thank you to each and every one of you that prayed, sent good vibes, and continuously kept dad in your thoughts, because frankly.. he didn't get better from medical intervention, because nothing was ever done. I truly believe that when his life was spared, mine was as well, because looking back I would not have survived that. I don't know which one of us hasn't finished their jobs here.. maybe both of us, but here we are.
I know many people say that, things like I couldn't survive if I lost....________. I used to be one of those people. Then the unthinkable happened and I remained on earth. I don't know that what I what I have been doing the last 8 should be considered survival actually, it was more just existing somewhere I had no desire to be. I can tell you right now with all honesty, if dad had not made it through this, in the head space I was in, I am fully aware that I would no longer be here either. There would have been no, "Well shit I woke up".
Don't be sad about that, be grateful. I am. I have mentioned before that I felt like I continuously wake up in these alternate universes were things are the same but they are just different enough that the rules are all different and it takes navigating. This shift was absolutely no exception.
This shift, dad is getting better and better, stronger and stronger, has gained all but 4 pounds of his weight back, he carries on a conversation, he jokes and his sarcasm is back.
This shift, I am reading, learning, studying, writing, all of the things I can to try to learn me. I am working out and I eating 100% on a plan that I absolutely love. I measure the food I eat to the tablespoon, ounce, whatever is called for and it doesn't even feel weird. I like my coffee black or with a TINY and I do mean tiny bit of keto friendly coconut creamer just to take the bite off the first cup.
This shift my mom is my friend, we have been closer over the last years, but this shift, I see her differently, she is more than my mom, she is my confidant, my go to when I really need to talk through something terrible, the person who I know without a doubt I can call and not be judged, we literally talk every single day, as added icing on that cake she has been working out with me!
This shift my friends, I am not going to name you all by name that would take an insanely long time, you all feel different, I am not as concerned about "Oh my what will xyz think?" and feel more of my friends absolutely love me and I KNOW they have me through this, I seriously can't think of one of my friends if I called right now would not pick up the phone and do everything they could to help me, well there was Louise.. lol.
This shift I am completely and totally in love with love of my life. I mean who couldn't love Banx... KIDDING.. Ed I have loved you for so long, but this is different.. I want to be better for you, with you, and I want to enjoy what we have. What I am saying here is this.. this shift I want to be an active participant in living not just someone going through the motions.
Did I say this was going to be a short post? Sorry.
Anyway my point is this.. we are going on vacation! I may post.. I may not. Either way, thank you all for having patience, because while this shift is full of positives, it is a different set of rules, and those are always tricky to navigate, I am just grateful that I now if I stumble I have an entire army behind me to help catch me.
Signing off with this, have there been times in your life that the whole universe seemed to shift just a little? How did you navigate those times? If it shifted right now would you have the arsenal you needed to get you through it?
Peace, Love, and Light
Re
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