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Walking for De! 

6/4/2013

5 Comments

 
Picture
I am having a hard time coming to grips with the truth that my beautiful daughter is gone. I don't think that is any surprise to anyone that knows me, reads my facebook, or my blog. The reality of it just won't or can't set in. Yesterday was one of the really bad days. Nothing would come together, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, I ended up sleeping most of the evening away just to not have to face any of it.

The next two weekends it will be hitting me head on. The Relay for Life event is this coming Friday night and the following weekend Graduation, both were huge events for her, things that De worked really hard towards.

This coming Friday I will be there at the Mathews Relay Event from start to finish, I will not only be walking for her but also I will be speaking. I would like to ask that anyone in the area to please come out and walk a lap or two with me, just share a story, a hug, or just in silent thought of my beautiful girl. My baby didn't die from cancer but it was a cause that was near and dear to her, a cause instilled in her by Anita and me. She knew and saw first hand the pain that cancer caused, not only to the person with cancer but their families and care givers.

As I was walking Banx this morning, a thought occurred to me, there is no cure for cancer, then I thought of the definition of cancer.

Cancer: The disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body.

Is the loss of a child not similar? There is no cure, it is an uncontrolled division created by an abnormal event in a part of your life. Time may be like chemo or radiation, but the loss is forever there, in remission, sneaking up on the carrier with no warning, to throw you back in the throws of the disease over and over, only to have to fight your way out again and again.

I have for years been involved with Relay for Life and the fight against cancer, for family members, friends and strangers. I had no idea that my life, my daughters life, my families life, would take a turn that would turn my fight against the loss of life towards seat belt usage in our youth and nation, but it has. If any of my talks, blogs, cards, dollars, save just one life it is worth it, but if I save one, I will want to save 100, if 100 then 1000.. I think you see where this is going. If there was a way to get The Deanna Hug Project as big as Relay for LIfe you can bet I will spend as much of my time as I can to do it.

This is not how I pictured my life, I pictured Italy and ended up in Holland, so now all I can do is learn the land, the language and the new way of life.

To each of you I wish you a beautiful day, give something today, give a smile, give a second to hold a door, give your child a word of encouragement.

Much Love to you all and I hope to see you Friday night!
De's Mommy



5 Comments
Renee
6/3/2013 11:44:02 pm

Love & Hugs this am. Today is going to be a better day! Its so amazing how really clear your mind is with good thoughts and thinking of ways to help others! I know its going to be a hard 2 weeks, but love will carry you thru and De will be with you!

Reply
Ginger Shuber
6/3/2013 11:51:58 pm

You are so adept at expressing your emotions through writing; don't stop- it has got to be very therapeutic to get it out this way. As painful as your posts are to read, I am drawn to them to follow your progress but also your words are a reminder to everyone how quickly our lives ca be turned upside down. Don't apologize for anything; it amazes this ex-English teacher how you can so fully express yourself. Love to you.

Reply
Rebecca
6/4/2013 01:51:19 am

"Is the loss of a child not similar? . . . " I think you just wrote your speech for the Relay if you haven't already.That analogy is spot on. I'm with Ginger, don't stop writing, but do stop apologizing. You will never know how many people you are helping, and saving every day.

Reply
Amber Marshall
6/4/2013 08:01:17 am

I have lost a lot of my family to cancer. De helped me throw it. when I started helping for relay for life and I couldn't make it de helped even more and I prasied her for that ... so I also thank De's mom for raising such a loving careing girl like her ....... <3 I will def be there Friday .

Reply
Aunt Ann
6/4/2013 01:32:02 pm

I'LL AGREE WITH REBECCA I THINK YOU JUST WROTE YOUR SPEECH.DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS EVER EXPRESSED CANCER AND THE LOSS OF A CHILD IN THIS MANNER BEFORE.AWESOME!!!! LOVE YOU RE

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