Yesterday was Veteran’s day as we all obviously know, what you may not know is that it is a special day to me. It’s my sweet Pansy Boy’s birthday and I always reflect on our relationship, who he was to me, who he still is, and ultimately what could I have done differently to save him. The answer there is absolutely nothing. He was determined that it was his time to go and I know with all of my being that he is 100% now and no longer in the pain that he had suffered most of his life. Much like a celebrity he was able to be beautiful and smile on the outside when his inside was torn in a million pieces, few of us got to see that side of him and I am grateful that I was one of those people he trusted with his heart. I still miss you my friend and would still absolutely live in a card board box for you. Fly high and hug my babies for me.
I was going to work yesterday just because why not, but at the last minute I said “NO… I am going to be like everyone else and take the day and it is going to be a ME DAY.” I left home bright and early and did things I have not done in months, I went and did a spa treatment and tanned, I had my nails done, took off to Mexican alone (yea yea yea I know not on the plan but hold tight), had my hair done, scrolled through little Deanna’s sprinkles of love, started the most amazing book, came home snuggled my puppies, got fancied up (at least for me) then capped the day off by joining my family in celebrating my uncle’s 35 years of service to our local American Legion post.
It was a full, beautiful, peaceful day that my soul needed! I am going to dig into a few of those things, because they deserve it.
Let’s start with me getting Mexican. It’s just one of my favorite things and lately I have been craving it but pushing the want back until a special time. Yesterday seemed like the perfect time to just go for it. As I sat there enjoying my chips and IPA (read scarfing down chips like they weren’t going to make anymore) this absolutely beautiful being popped into the seat across from me said says “HI!!!” I think a chip was mid air. Who should walk in but my accountability partner! Seriously not even joking. I quickly said that it was a Me day and I was going to enjoy these chips and braced myself for the shame that was surely coming. It didn’t. She looked right at me and said “Girl ENJOY your day!” We chatted a few minutes about every day life and struggles of missing loved ones and parted ways. Not once did I feel judged, shamed, or any other uncomfortable food feeling that in my experience comes with being “caught” eating something not on plan. Want to know what happened next? I ate maybe 2 more chips, picked at my fajitas (brough much of it home) and felt wonderful about it. Just seeing her for a minute made me take inventory of what I was doing, not because I was shamed but because I knew I could enjoy this meal but didn’t have to fully stuff myself. I didn’t have that horrible feeling that sometimes comes with eating, I didn’t have to bury or stuff down anything in buckets of chips and salsa. I walked out feeling satisfied and extreme amounts of love. Thank you my dear friend for making my lunch amazing.
For the wind up of the wonderful day I met my family and together we celebrated Darly John’s service to not only our country but also our county, in doing so we heard the most amazing gentleman speak of his experiences. This dear man was 100 years old and just as spry and on point as I am at half his age, in fact he may be more so! We laughed, we sat in awe, we enjoyed, and while he was wishing he had more time to speak I know I for one was wishing he did too. He was most definitely one of those people that you could listen to all day and never say a word. As the evening wore on and I looked around the table at the people I love and who love me, then to the room of gentleman who put it all on the line for our country, I was over come with emotion and had to hold back tears as Taps played on in the background, not due to sadness, but from an amazing feeling of belonging, understanding, and love.
For you today I wish you a day as wonderful and as peaceful as mine yesterday.