We have all been there. Our friend is hurting and we are fumbling around like a bunch of bumbling idiots trying to figure out what to do to make them feel better. It happens and it is ok, we just are not hard wired to be able to deal with the pain and hurt of people we love and care about. We just want to FIX IT AND MAKE IT BETTER NOW!!! Unfortunately this is generally not possible. It took me a long time to realize this, as I felt at the time I when the hurting was so raw and unbearable that everyone should know exactly what I needed and when. Alas, no one is a mind reader so many times we just get what to do wrong.
A dear friend sparked this post today. I missed her at bootcamp. The friend has become a constant in my life and made my hurts more bearable and I am hoping I can return the favor just in this small fraction. While I am not great with words face to face I seem to have gotten this writing thing down so I chose this avenue to help express what my friend and so many others who are hurting need.
First and foremost they need our support, they need our love, they need our prayers, thoughts and awesome jedi vibes. Those things are so important in this universe.
Secondly they need us to BE NORMAL! If you are in a private setting and the person wants to share.. GREAT! Let them share. You share, they share, we all SHARE! If you run into them on the street, in the grocery store, in the bar, say "hello, how ya doing?" They will lead the conversation from there. If they want to share.. great.. if not great too! Don't shy away or scurry down the next isle or out the door. They see you and it hurts. I promise they aren't going to start crying and get snot on your shirt in a public place. I also would like to state that it is really not ok to walk up to someone in a public place and start a sympathy and hug fest. It is awkward. Just say Hi. How are you.. like normal!
There are a few places that as a good friend we should just leave our hugs and sympathy at the door and wait until a different time and place. The gym being one that is relevant in this case as it was in my case a few years ago. I am am expert on this so I feel well qualified to say that if you feel the urge to go hug your friend or to say something like.. I have been praying for you.. or give the sad sympathetic look you need to turn around and march your happy ass back out the door or go sit in your car until the urge passes you! The gym is a place where the hurting go to get out all out. To spend some of the painful energy we have. To FORGET what is going on outside of those walls of sweat for just a few minutes of the day. Just one tiny little hug can crash all of that down. So if the urge hits you to hug in the middle of the gym... you aren't working hard enough! Do more triceps it will keep your arms out of the hug position.
So what am I saying? I am saying lets support our dear friend through this time by walking in the gym, grumbling good morning, getting our sweat on with her! Trust me that is what she needs.
Much peace and love to all,
Re
PS I love each and every one of you at the gym, and I am sure each of you loves each other just the same and we want to support each other but if I see one person hug, or utter I am sorry I will drop a 50 lb kettle bell on your toe. xoxoxo
A dear friend sparked this post today. I missed her at bootcamp. The friend has become a constant in my life and made my hurts more bearable and I am hoping I can return the favor just in this small fraction. While I am not great with words face to face I seem to have gotten this writing thing down so I chose this avenue to help express what my friend and so many others who are hurting need.
First and foremost they need our support, they need our love, they need our prayers, thoughts and awesome jedi vibes. Those things are so important in this universe.
Secondly they need us to BE NORMAL! If you are in a private setting and the person wants to share.. GREAT! Let them share. You share, they share, we all SHARE! If you run into them on the street, in the grocery store, in the bar, say "hello, how ya doing?" They will lead the conversation from there. If they want to share.. great.. if not great too! Don't shy away or scurry down the next isle or out the door. They see you and it hurts. I promise they aren't going to start crying and get snot on your shirt in a public place. I also would like to state that it is really not ok to walk up to someone in a public place and start a sympathy and hug fest. It is awkward. Just say Hi. How are you.. like normal!
There are a few places that as a good friend we should just leave our hugs and sympathy at the door and wait until a different time and place. The gym being one that is relevant in this case as it was in my case a few years ago. I am am expert on this so I feel well qualified to say that if you feel the urge to go hug your friend or to say something like.. I have been praying for you.. or give the sad sympathetic look you need to turn around and march your happy ass back out the door or go sit in your car until the urge passes you! The gym is a place where the hurting go to get out all out. To spend some of the painful energy we have. To FORGET what is going on outside of those walls of sweat for just a few minutes of the day. Just one tiny little hug can crash all of that down. So if the urge hits you to hug in the middle of the gym... you aren't working hard enough! Do more triceps it will keep your arms out of the hug position.
So what am I saying? I am saying lets support our dear friend through this time by walking in the gym, grumbling good morning, getting our sweat on with her! Trust me that is what she needs.
Much peace and love to all,
Re
PS I love each and every one of you at the gym, and I am sure each of you loves each other just the same and we want to support each other but if I see one person hug, or utter I am sorry I will drop a 50 lb kettle bell on your toe. xoxoxo
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