Give. Live. Hug.
Follow Me:
  • Re's Journey
    • Re's Journey 2011-2013
    • Re's Journey 2007 - 2011
  • Spindles
  • Cafe Mais Sha
  • De's Story
    • Photos of De
    • Signs of De
    • Deanna Hugs
  • Glimpses into my mind
  • Banx, Kittum and Fat Beagle
  • Favorite People, Places and Things
    • Family and Friends
    • Bootcamp Family
    • Favorite Places and Things
    • Me!
    • Crafties I Made
    • Deanna's Christmas Tree
  • Encouragements, Insights, and Funnies
    • Encouragement MeMes
    • Funny MeMes
    • Grief Memes
    • Favorite Postsecrets
    • Words of Support from April 20th
  • Races, Runs and other Fun Events
    • Deanna's Candle Light Service
    • Deanna's 5k 2013
    • Pretty Muddy
    • OBX Marathon 2013
  • Contact Us

What to do when your friend is hurting... 

9/27/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
We have all been there. Our friend is hurting and we are fumbling around like a bunch of bumbling idiots trying to figure out what to do to make them feel better. It happens and it is ok, we just are not hard wired to be able to deal with the pain and hurt of people we love and care about. We just want to FIX IT AND MAKE IT BETTER NOW!!! Unfortunately this is generally not possible. It took me a long time to realize this, as I felt at the time I when the hurting was so raw and unbearable that everyone should know exactly what I needed and when.  Alas, no one is a mind reader so many times we just get what to do wrong.

A dear friend sparked this post today. I missed her at bootcamp. The friend has become a constant in my life and made my hurts more bearable and I am hoping I can return the favor just in this small fraction. While I am not great with words face to face I seem to have gotten this writing thing down so I chose this avenue to help express what my friend and so many others who are hurting need.

First and foremost they need our support, they need our love, they need our prayers, thoughts and awesome jedi vibes. Those things are so important in this universe.

Secondly they need us to BE NORMAL! If you are in a private setting and the person wants to share.. GREAT! Let them share. You share, they share, we all SHARE! If you run into them on the street, in the grocery store, in the bar, say "hello, how ya doing?" They will lead the conversation from there. If they want to share.. great.. if not great too! Don't shy away or scurry down the next isle or out the door. They see you and it hurts. I promise they aren't going to start crying and get snot on your shirt in a public place.  I also would like to state that it is really not ok to walk up to someone in a public place and start a sympathy and hug fest. It is awkward. Just say Hi. How are you.. like normal!

There are a few places that as a good friend we should just leave our hugs and sympathy at the door and wait until a different time and place. The gym being one that is relevant in this case as it was in my case a few years ago. I am am expert on this so I feel well qualified to say that if you feel the urge to go hug your friend or to say something like.. I have been praying for you.. or give the sad sympathetic look you need to turn around and march your happy ass back out the door or go sit in your car until the urge passes you!  The gym is a place where the hurting go to get out all out. To spend some of the painful energy we have. To FORGET what is going on outside of those walls of sweat for just a few minutes of the day.  Just one tiny little hug can crash all of that down. So if the urge hits you to hug in the middle of the gym... you aren't working hard enough! Do more triceps it will keep your arms out of the hug position.

So what am I saying? I am saying lets support our dear friend through this time by walking in the gym, grumbling good morning, getting our sweat on with her! Trust me that is what she needs.

Much peace and love to all,

Re

PS I love each and every one of you at the gym, and I am sure each of you loves each other just the same and we want to support each other but if I see one person hug, or utter I am sorry I will drop a 50 lb kettle bell on your toe. xoxoxo


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

        Author

    De's Mommy
    Re
    Ann Marie
    Rhiannon Phoenix Mariah Dawn
    President of the Pro Bailers

    All of them are me!

    Blogs I Love!

    Life in Mathews
    Living in the Shadow
    Fosterhood in NYC
    Post Secret
    Hyperbole and a Half
    The Bloggess

    Archives

    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013

    Categories

    All
    #anger
    #bootcamp
    #deannahug
    #givelivehug
    #grief
    #looneytoons
    #onesaved
    #shame

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.