Why do we do that??

I am sitting here this morning having my NutPod creamer coffee with my smig of Swerve and you know what? It is good. Yet as I mentioned yesterday that coffee creamer there in the case in every grocery store in America speaks to me. It screams "You know you know you want me, you know you need me!" I know with all in me that the crap is hella bad for you, but I continue to go back to it and when I do I continue to put off what I KNOW is the right thing and that is stop drinking it.

We do that all over our lives, or at least some of us do. Another example I am writing this blog on my Mac, bless his heart he has hung with me for a many a year. He is old and outdated but the only thing I do on him is write my blog so in my mind he is perfect, except for one tiny thing.. his tiny little screen. Day after day I sit here and write and squint to read the words I am even typing. Readers won't work, the screen is too far away for that because I use a different keyboard, BUTTTTTT, a tiny little adapter would allow me to connect my big monitor to it so I could see. It took me a week to click on add to cart, it wasn't about money the thing is so inexpensive it was purely out of .. what? I have no idea. Why do we put off the things that we know will help us?

Here is a list of things I KNOW are good for me that I just have a hard time starting or sticking too

• Moving every day in a forward motion that better improves my performance and mental stability (aka exercise but that word just sounds like ick lol) 
• Drinking a gallon of water a day. Why is this one so hard on some days and others, nothing to it? Some days I drink the whole gallon before lunch!
  
• Spending time with myself, educating myself about myself. That one is pretty simple.. I don't like hanging around people I don't particularly like. I can say that you know, I don't like me. I don't like the me that I have become neither physically or mentally, but right now I like myself enough to help me. A friend used to say I love and like you, meaning that there could come up a time that they may not like me very much but it wouldn't stop their love.  Right now I love myself enough to help me get to somewhere I like, but man is it hard to hang around me sometimes.
  
• Eating healthy choices. That one is simple.. there are soooooo many carb loaded yummies out there in flash pretty boxes that make it look like you are going to feel better if you just eat them!
  
• Spending more time with people who love me. I know some of you believe I am a social butterfly, potentially true, but here in VA I tend to lock myself down to just a handful of people. I know I know pandemic we had to, but this is deeper. I will cram my schedule so full of things that when people do ask me to do things, people who love me who are good for me, I have to say no because my calendar is so full. This could have more to do with me not wanting to spend time with myself so I create a calendar of chaos so there is no down time than it is with wanting time with others.
  
• Letting go of things I know are bad!!!! Toxic people. Toxic situations. Toxic relationships. Toxic food.  I will hold on to those things like they are gold all the while letting the good walk right on by!  I am going to give you a for instance here. There once was a woman,  we will call her Francis, and for weeks and weeks she acted like my bestie and there I was lapping it all up. Doing all the things she wanted to do, the way she wanted to do, liking who she wanted me to like, until one day I spoke up and said something that she didn't particularly like and it wasn't even something horrible. Francis came after me like a volt of vultures, ripped me to threads and left me for dead. Do you know what I did in return? I still contact her from time to time because as toxic as it was I can not let it go.  I have countless stories just like this with toxic people that I just can not say good reddens to.  It is definitely something I need to dig deeper into, because I KNOW they need to go but again, why in the world do I hold on to them?
  

I could probably come up with a few more to add to the list but I think that is enough for my poor brain to focus on today. I would really like some feed back on these, if anyone is in a similar situation I would love to chat it out with you or if someone has beat these things and learned to stop doing things to themselves that just do not serve them I would love to hear from you too!

For today I am going to ponder, and think of ways that I can learn to fill my life with the good things and let go of those bad ones that seem to just get in the way. Right this minute I am going to sign off and I am going to enjoy my coffee and start my day by watching the two geese that have determined our little point is home even though it is a volatile neighborhood for them.

Happy Monday!
Peace, Love and Light

Re